


Katniss Everdeen's Rules to Live By

by Jgem87



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-06
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:48:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jgem87/pseuds/Jgem87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rule 1: Protect and help my family. Rule 2:Make enough money to send<br/>Prim to medical school. Rule 3: Do my job to the best of my ability. Rule 4:<br/>Have fun! Go out and party, drink, sleep with different guys, have a good<br/>time. Rule 5: Don't fall in love. Ever... Modern Day AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rules To Live By

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a lot different from my other works. More mature, less sweet. Thanks to my friends for the help!

Prologue

In life, there will always be rules. Do this, don't do that, and live this way, not that way. Rules are important, but I like to make my own. My rules protect me; they keep me from losing everything that is important in my life. These are my five rules to live by.

Rule 1:

Protect and help my family. This rule is pretty straight forward. I make sure that my mother stays on her medication and pays her bills on time. I make sure that her and Prim have everything that they need and that they are safe and sound.

Rule 2:

Make enough money to send Prim to medical school. Simple enough, this rule helps motivate me to save money for my little sister to get into medical school. She already has the intelligence, she just needs the means to get there, and I'll be damned if she doesn't get there because of financial concerns.

Rule 3:

Do my job to the best of my ability. It's not like I have a difficult job, but it does tend to get on my nerves sometimes. Everyone who knows me at all knows that I am not the world's most patient person, so I made this rule to ensure that I stick by my job as it provides money that can be used to help my family and me.

Rule 4:

Have fun! Go out and party, drink, sleep with different guys, have a good time. Life is too short not to have a little fun at times. Going out with my friends or by myself helps me to de-stress and relax after work. I don't make a habit out of partying too hard. I don't do drugs and although I drink, I rarely drink enough to get sick, mostly just a nice buzz. I also like to have (safe) sex with different guys. Sometimes I keep them around for a nice fuck buddy, other times it's a one night stand kind of deal. Either way, it's fun and it let's me forget about the worries of my life.

Rule 5:

Don't fall in love. Ever. Love is weakness, and I don't tolerate weakness. Falling in love causes people to do all kinds of stupid, idiotic things that they would never do otherwise. Love is dangerous; it can break you into a million different pieces that you can never put back together again.

Chapter 1: Rules to Live By

I roll over in my bed and immediately smack into the warm body beside mine. Fuck, I forgot I had someone over last night. He was a new guy, what was his name again? Carter? Calvin? No wait…Cato, that was it.

The man in question mumbles something in his sleep. He must be a heavy sleeper if he is still out after me smacking into him like that. Since he is still mostly covered by the thin blanket draped over us, I pull it down to get another look at him. He is attractive. Blond hair and a decent looking face. I draw the blanket down further to find a nicely sculpted abdomen that leads down to…

"Enjoying the view?"

I drop the blanket and stare into the mischievous eyes of last night's conquest. His lips quirk up into a half smile and I scowl and turn away from him, recalling how I met this man the night before.

It's Friday night and I have just arrived at one of the many local bars and found a seat when he walks in. Tall, short, spiky hair that just begs to be mussed up by my fingers, a little smirk on his face that shows cockiness, that bastard knows that he is attractive.

I order a rum and Coke to start off with and as I sit at the bar, I know that it is only a matter of time before Mr. Cocky comes over to speak with me. Now I'm not conceited by any means, but I know the look in a guy's eye when he wants a woman, and that man wanted me from the moment he stepped through the door.

Not five minutes later, he comes and sits down next to me, leaning his body close to mine. "Hey baby, can I buy you a drink?"

I roll my eyes at him, oldest line in the book. "Nope, I have one right here." I lift up my glass to show him my beverage.

He doesn't look deterred one bit by my drink refusal, in fact, his eyes alight with fire. "Hmm…so you do. I'm Cato, by the way."

I pretend not to be interested. Most men seem to like the thrill of the chase, at least for a little while. "I didn't ask."

He looks taken aback, like how dare a girl not immediately rip her panties off at the sound of his name. "You know, it's proper etiquette that once someone tells you their name that you respond with your own."

I raise my brow at him and take a sip of my drunk. "Is it now? Because you don't exactly look like the type of guy who cares about proper etiquette…" I let my words trail off, hoping that he gets my meaning.

He does, and it isn't an hour later when we are back at my apartment, naked in my bed. I eventually tell him my name, just so I can hear him scream it when he comes. He doesn't disappoint.

I shake myself out of my little flashback and back into my current situation. Oh yes, naked guy in my bed. Now it's decision time, do I give him my number for some future rendezvous? Or do I throw him to the curb?

"Katniss?"

My gaze flickers to his and I decide to keep him around, for now. He was good in bed, much better than that guy Marvel from a few weeks ago. "What?"

"What time is it?"

I look at my wrist to the watch that I always wear. It's worn down by age, but I will wear it until it disintegrates, it means too much to throw away. "Just past ten."

Cato groans and lifts himself off of the bed. "I have to go now. I was really hoping for another round or at least your mouth on my cock again, but there's no time."

I wave my hand at him dismissively, burrowing back under the covers. "Go."

He moves to the door, but then stops just short of actually leaving the room. "Can I call you?"

Yep, I figured that was coming. That's why I didn't offer my number up right away. I don't want to seem too eager. I sigh and lift myself off of my bed a bit. "Look, I don't do relationships okay? If you want to fuck some time, call me, but no flowers, no 'dates' no anything having to do with romance."

He blinks his light-colored eyes at me in confusion before what I said sinks in. His lips turn up into that cocky smirk of his before he answers. "Not a problem. What's your number?"

I rattle off the digits to him and tell him to find his way out. I have to get up and get a shower before I go see Prim.

I walk the four blocks from my apartment to my mom and Prim's house. I like being close to them, it helps me protect and take care of them, and since it is one of my rules, I take it very seriously.

My journey takes me by the brand new bakery, and I can't help but to stop and glance at the display window on my way past. Beautifully decorated cakes of all colors are shown off in the window. They all look delicious, but almost too pretty to eat.

Prim has a bit of a sweet tooth, so I make my way into the sweet-smelling bakery.

I find myself surrounded by pastries, cakes, and cookies, all of which look amazing. I take my time looking at the various muffins for sale, until I hear a voice speak up behind me.

"Can I help you?"

I spin around quickly and find myself staring into a pair of the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen.

I take a step back and give the man before me a once over. He is taller than me, but not too tall. He has a stocky and firm build, and I can tell that his shirt is hiding some rather nice muscles under it. The man has wavy, blond hair and pale skin, but what entrances me the most is those eyes. I have never seen eyes that blue before, they are breathtaking.

"Miss? Are you okay?"

I mentally shake myself out of my trance. "Yes, sorry. Do you work here?"

He nods and then smiles at me, showing off his perfect, white teeth. "I own the place. Can I help you with something?"

Yeah, you can help me take my clothes off later on tonight… The man is smoking hot. I need to make my move on this one, and soon. "Oh, I just wanted to get a muffin for my sister." I give him my best sexy smile, and push my chest forward a bit so that he can see my cleavage.

He doesn't even glance down at my chest though. He just smiles again and helps me to pick out a banana nut muffin for Prim.

My gaze flickers over to his left ring finger. He has to be married if he didn't as much as glance at my cleavage. However, to my surprise, his finger is bare.

Gay, he has to be gay. But he didn't show any outward signs of it, and my gaydar is pretty spot on.

I have to have this man, I just have to. I scramble to think of an excuse to ask his name, but as he is ringing up my purchase, I see that he has a name tag on.

Peeta Mellark: Owner

Well Peeta Mellark, prepare for the force that is Katniss Everdeen.


	2. A New Target

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going on vacation so I won't be updating for a little while.

After leaving the bakery, and the sexy as fuck owner behind, I walk to my mother and Prim's house with a smile on my face. I have a new target and I can't wait to get my hands on him. Those eyes and that shaggy blond hair just make my insides melt, and that build? I can just imagine how those muscles will feel against my skin.

I try to banish those thoughts from my mind at the time being. I'm finally going to see Prim and my mother and I think it's just a bit inappropriate to be thinking such things around my family.

When I knock, Prim opens the door and throws herself into my arms. "Katniss! I missed you!"

I laugh and hold her to me for a moment before letting her go. "It hasn't been that long since you last saw me Little Duck."

Prim frowns at me. "I'm twenty-one now, I'm a bit too old for you to still be calling me 'Little Duck.'"

I shake my head and ruffle her golden blond hair. "You will always be my Little Duck. How's mom, has she been taking her meds?"

My sister bobs her head up and down and smiles. "Yes, and she has been going to work as well. In fact, she just got home a few minutes ago."

As if on cue, my mother steps into the room and gives me a small smile. She looks tired, but just the fact that she has been going to work is a big step for her so I go over and give her a hug as well. "Hi mom."

She embraces me for a moment. "Katniss, how nice to see you."

I stay over at their house for an hour or two. Just long enough to visit and give them some money to put towards Prim's medical school fund. When I leave, Prim hugs me and makes me promise to come back soon.

I walk back by the bakery again and glance through the window. I am hoping to catch a glimpse of Peeta again, but I don't see him around.

I scowl to myself for being so hung up on a guy. He's just so damn sexy, I want to rip his clothes off, now.

Apparently that's not meant to be. I am so pissed off and horny just thinking about him that when I get home and find a text from Cato, wanting to get together…again, I respond right away.

My phone rings and when I see that he is now calling me, I pick up. "I said you can come over, what else do you want?"

That cocky bastard laughs at me on the other end of the phone. "Chill, I just wanted to know if you wanted me to bring anything with me."

I immediately get scared that he has forgotten my 'no dating' rule and wants to bring me flowers or candy or something. "I swear, if you so much as show up here with flowers, candy, or a bottle of champagne, I will kill you."

Cato chuckles again, this time loudly. "Fuck Katniss, you're a trip. That's not what I meant. I meant like vodka, tequila, or some kinky shit if you're into it."

I breathe a sigh of relief and think to myself if I want him to bring something with him. "Actually, I'm almost out of condoms, so bring some of those with you."

When Cato arrives, I practically pull him into the apartment, eager to work off some of my…frustration. My lips find his and my hands immediately begin to pull of his jacket.

He breaks away for a moment, smiling at me as I whine at him in impatience. "Damn Katniss, what's with you?"

"Shut up and fuck me," is my response to him.

He does as I ask, lifting me up onto the kitchen counter and taking me right there. I close my eyes and imagine that it's Peeta who is currently palming my breasts and Peeta who is pushing into me with rough precision. I tumble over the edge into ecstasy at these thoughts and I somehow just manage not to say his name as I reach my peak.

But then, Cato ruins everything by moaning my name and saying dirty things into my ear as he works to find his release. I can no longer pretend he is someone else, not when I hear his voice, and not the soft, gentle timbre of Peeta's.

When we are through, I kick him out. He seems disappointed that we didn't go another few rounds, but after my little fantasy about him being Peeta, I can no longer stand to have him in my sight.

I am so caught up in wanting this man who doesn't even know my name, it really isn't healthy, but I can practically feel his lips against my skin and hear his soft voice cry out my name. I can't shake this obsession with him.

All the next week, I go by the bakery and look for him. He is the owner, so I figured that I would see him sooner or later. But no, he is never there.

When Friday night rolls back around, my friend Johanna and I go to a club to drink and dance and have fun.

"So, any new targets?"

I swear Jo can read my mind at times. "Yeah, there is this one guy…he is the owner of the new bakery in town."

One of her dark brows rises up. "Oh yeah? Describe him."

I can't help the smile that spreads over my face at the mere thought of Peeta. "He's about medium height, strong build, wavy blond hair, and gorgeous blue eyes."

Jo smirks at me. "Where did you meet him at? He sounds hot as hell."

"Oh he is, trust me. I went into the bakery to buy something for Prim and he helped me. Unfortunately, I haven't seen him since then."

Jo takes a sip of her drink before speaking. "Have you been stalking the bakery?"

I feel my face flush at her accusation. "Yes, I don't know how else to find him."

She waves her hand dismissively in the air. "Find someone else then."

If only it were that simple… "You don't understand; I must have him."

"I've never seen you so hung up on a guy like this before."

I sigh and tip back the rest of my drink. "I know; it's becoming an issue."

Johanna's mouth open as if to say something, but then she just blinks, like she is caught off guard.

I turn around to see what she is staring at, and my heart immediately begins to thud loudly in my chest. It's Peeta, and he's walking my way.

"That's him," I hiss into Jo's ear. "That's Peeta, the guy I was just talking about!"

Her dark eyes widen. "Wow, he is one fine male specimen."

Before I can answer, Peeta comes up to the bar and orders a drink from the bartender. I am still gaping at him when he finally looks my way.

He smiles gently and then leans closer. A look of recognition crosses his face as he studies me. "Hey, you were in my bakery a few days ago, weren't you?"

I want to answer him, but my mouth has suddenly gone dry. I swallow and try again. "Y…yeah, you're the owner, right?"

He grins widely at me, his blue eyes sparkling. "Yeah, I'm Peeta Mellark. What's your name?"

Somehow, I manage to mumble my name to him. "Katniss Everdeen."

Johanna nudges me, so I introduce her as well. "Oh, and this is my friend Johanna Mason."

They shake hands and the three of us chat a little bit before I see Jo's eyes wander over to a tall, dark-haired guy in the corner of the club. "Umm…I'm gonna go dance, see you two later!"

She runs off without even giving us a chance to respond.

Peeta finishes off his second drink, and turns to me. "You wanna dance?"

I want to do more than dance with him. I want to drag him to the bathroom or out into the alley and have my way with him. I want to feel his hands roaming over my body and his lips pressed against my own. My body begins to react to my thoughts and I feel the throbbing desire pool low in my belly. "Yes, I'd like that."

He grabs my hand and leads me out into the middle of the dance floor. The beat from the fast and loud music pulses through my body, and when we begin to dance, it goes into sensory overload.

Just the feel of his warm body behind mine is taking my breath away and it makes me grind a little bit harder against him.

Peeta's hands slide down to my hips and tease the bit of skin not covered by my clothing. Flames lick at my skin wherever he touches and I almost can't take it anymore.

We dance until our bodies are slick with sweat and desire, well at least mine is anyway. Peeta tugs me back to the bar and orders us another round of drinks.

I watch him for signs that he wants to 'up the ante' a bit. He seemed like he was into me on the dance floor, but he didn't once try to grope me or make a suggestive remark while we were dancing.

He sits on one of the barstools and motions for me to sit next to him. "So Katniss, tell me about yourself."

Oh jeez, he wants to talk. I don't want to talk, I want to fuck, preferably tonight. But still, I humor him. "Umm…not much to say. I work as an archery instructor at the Community Activities Center. I like to go out and have a good time and visit with my sister…" Oh yeah, and I don't do relationships, but would love to do you. I keep that last thought to myself.

Peeta smiles at me, and even though I didn't ask, he begins to talk about himself next. "Well, as you know, I own the bakery in town. I grew up helping my parents with their bakery so I guess it's in my blood. When I have free time, I like to paint, and I only occasionally come out to clubs and bars like this."

Somehow we end up in an easy conversation together. Peeta actually seems like a decent enough guy and I almost feel bad that I plan on just fucking him and maybe keeping him around for those purposes only.

No, I can't forget my rules, especially the last one, that one is the most important. I will sleep with Peeta, get him out of my system and be done with it. I can't afford anything else.


	3. Setback

Peeta and I talk for hours. I find myself enjoying his company and I have to constantly remind myself not to get too attached to this man.

I shamelessly flirt with him, tossing my hair back and letting him get a good look at chest, not that he ever even seems to glance down. Instead, he keeps his gaze on my eyes, and it's almost annoying how chaste he is being.

Peeta glances at his watch and I see his eyes widen in shock. "Shit! It's after one in the morning!"

"Your carriage gonna turn into a pumpkin?" I laugh at him lightly, trying to get him to calm down.

"No, I…I have to leave. I have to be at the bakery at five!"

I groan inwardly, there is no way he is going to go home with me now. "That sucks, are you sure you just don't want to pull an all-nighter rather than getting like three or so hours of sleep?"

His blue eyes flicker to mine in confusion. He slowly shakes his head and then pulls out a small card from his pocket. "I really can't stay out any longer." Peeta takes out a pen and scrawls something on the card before handing it to me. "This is my business card. I added my cell phone number to it. I really liked talking with you and would love to get together sometime."

I take the card, shoving it into my pocket. "Thanks, hopefully I'll see you soon." I wink at him and I swear I see his face flush red.

"See you soon Katniss."

Long after he leaves I still sit at the bar, angry at my turn of bad luck. Johanna has left with some mystery man, so I am all alone in my misery.

I flip the little card over and over again in my hand. This is not what I had in mind, not at all, but sometimes my rules need to bend. Just a little bend in the rules, for hope of getting what I want in the future. And I always get what I want.

When I arrive back at my place, I'm pissed that I wasn't able to get Peeta into bed with me. Damn him and his early baker hours! I wish I wasn't so hung up on this man, but he is so…hot. He oozes sex appeal and I just have to know what it is like to have him, at least once.

When I finally fall asleep after tossing and turning for what seems like hours, I dream of him.

Peeta walks up to me as I enter his bakery. "Katniss, are you here to buy something?"

I shake my head. "No, I don't want any pastries."

He leans closer to me and whispers into my ear. "What do you want then?"

A shiver runs down my spine as his lips graze my ear when he pulls away. Now, it is my turn. I stand on my tiptoes and whisper back to him. "You."

And that's all it takes for him to lead me back to his office. He locks the door behind him and sweeps all of the papers off of his desk before lifting me up onto it.

We lock eyes and his lips are on mine in an instant. His mouth is hot and wet, and the way his tongue swirls around mine is undeniably arousing.

Peeta doesn't waste any time. He just pushes my skirt up and unzips his pants just enough for what we are about to do.

"You want this?" His blue are darken in arousal and I lock my legs around his hips, urging him on.

"Yes, Peeta, fuck me please!"

I wake up to the sound of my cell phone loudly ringing on my nightstand. I silently curse the person who is calling me for interrupting my sex dream.

"This better be good…"

"Well, hello to you too." It's Johanna, and as much as I love her, I want to kill her right now.

"What is it?"

"Chill Everdeen! I just wanted to know how last night went with Peeta. Was he good in bed? Is he still there?"

I groan loudly. "It didn't happen."

"What? He looked so into you last night! Especially on the dance floor!"

I roll over and see that it is past ten in the morning now. I should really get moving, but I'm still so pissed off about my setback with Peeta. "Yeah, well he had to leave so he could open up his damn bakery this morning."

Johanna is silent for a moment before speaking again. "Damn, that really sucks."

"He gave me his number."

"Oh yeah? You should call him later and get freaky."

I sigh and flop back down against my bed. "Maybe. I just have the feeling that he is going to be difficult."

As I get ready for the day, I can't help but to think about my sexy dream. It felt so real and I want that kind of sex with him. I want the I can't stand to wait until we get to a bedroom, so let's do it here, sex. I get myself off in the shower by replaying my dream and finishing it in my head.

I am so tempted to stop by the bakery today on my to see my family, but I know I shouldn't. That doesn't stop me from peeking in the window to see if Peeta is around though. He is there, helping a customer, and just before I can turn to leave, he raises his head and smiles at me.

I know now that I have to go in and see him; it would be too weird to just leave after he acknowledged my presence.

When I walk through the door, he is by my side in an instant. "Hey Katniss, good to see you again."

I smile up at him, trying not to lick my lips at the sight of him. He looks so sexy in his flour-dusted apron, his hair a tangled mess. "You too Peeta. I was just on my way to see my sister."

He nods and wipes his hands on his apron. "So…last night was fun. Have you thought about us getting together at all?"

Only about every two seconds. Wait, he means like a date, not getting together as in sex. Fuck, I don't date, but I have a feeling that if I say that to Peeta, that he will disappear from my life, and I can't have that. "Yeah, I've thought about it."

A small smile plays at his luscious lips. "Oh? And what was the verdict?"

My rules dictate that I do not fall in love. They aren't really specific about dates, especially when the end result of the date is sex with Peeta. I have to take a chance, if he wants one date in exchange for a night of passion? Then so be it. "Yes, let's get together, soon."

"How about tonight? The bakery is closed on Sundays, so I can stay out later like a big boy." He laughs at his own joke.

Tonight? Oh fuck yes! "That will work out good for me. What do you want to do?"

Peeta thinks for a second before responding. "Dinner to start off, and then we can just see where the night leads us."

Yes, yes this is good, VERY good. The night will hopefully lead us to my bed, sans clothing. "Sounds great."

I agree to meet Peeta at the restaurant at seven. I am already anticipating us leaving before we can even order dessert, because he will want me so much that he won't be able to stand not having me for a moment longer.

I try to stifle my inappropriate thoughts as I go to see Prim. Mom is working today, so I take my sister out to lunch so we can have some sisterly bonding time.

"How's school going?"

Prim finishes her bite of her sandwich before answering me. "It's going really well. There is a cute guy in my anatomy class; I really hope I will get to be lab partners with him."

I shake my head at her. "Now Prim, don't you remember the conversation we had about guys?"

Prim rolls her eyes at me. "Yes, yes, I know. School comes first and guys are just a distraction from what is important in life."

"And…?" I prompt her to finish.

"And falling in love is for the weak, it will only hurt you in the end."

I smile at her, happy that she remembered my little speech. "Exactly!"

"You know, just because you've been hurt in the past doesn't mean that…"

I reach over and cover her mouth before she can finish. I don't want to think about that ever, ever again and she knows it. "No, don't…don't go there."

Prim frowns at me. "You have to get over it sometime Katniss. Eventually some guy is going to come and sweep you off your feet. No, actually you won't even realize you are falling in love with him until it's too late. You will push him away like you do to almost everyone else. That is when you will understand."

I gape at her. My little sister never usually acts like this around me. I get that she wants me to be happy, but falling in love isn't something that will make me happy. Fucking Peeta Mellark will make me happy, seeing her get into medical school will make me happy, but not falling in love, never that.


	4. Denied

After visiting with Prim, I rush home to get ready for my 'date' with Peeta. On my way back to my apartment, I call Johanna to let her know what is going on.

"Hello?"

"Jo! Guess what?"

"You're pregnant?"

I laugh out loud at my friend. "No silly, do you really think I would be so excited if I were pregnant?"

She laughs loudly. "I know, I'm just joking with you. So spill it, what's so exciting?"

I let her hang in suspense for a moment before I answer her. "Peeta and I are going out to dinner tonight."

Johanna sighs. "I thought that you were against dates."

"I am, but if Peeta needs to go on a date with me in order for me to get him in my bed, it will be worth it."

"So, tonight's the night then?"

I smile to myself. "Yes, I can't wait."

"Details tomorrow?"

"Of course!"

After I hang up with Johanna and make my way home, the excitement and anticipation of the situation floods throughout my entire body.

The entire time I dress and get ready to see him, I daydream about how his full lips will feel against my own and how they will feel elsewhere as well.

As I pull on my khaki-colored skirt and dark green blouse, I think about how Peeta will be the one taking these very clothes off of me tonight. A shiver of pleasure radiates low in my belly and I contemplate not wearing any panties, but decide that I should because it builds anticipation.

When it is time to meet Peeta at the restaurant, I am borderline nervous about the events to come. Usually I am very self-assured and confident when it comes to seducing men, but there is something about Peeta that makes me feel slightly unsure of my usual seduction techniques.

When I arrive, I smooth down my skirt and head inside. He picked a nice Italian place for dinner. Elegant, but not overly fancy, just right for a first date.

The hostess smiles at me when I walk in. "Hello, how many in your party tonight?"

"Umm…I'm supposed to be meeting someone here. Blond wavy hair? Blue eyes?"

Her eyes light up in recognition. "Oh yes! Mr. Mellark! He has already arrived, please follow me."

The hostess leads me over to a small table set for two. A candle is flickering gently and the soft glow lights up Peeta's face. He looks so unbelievably sexy in his dark blue button down shirt and black pants, and when he sees me, he stumbles trying to get up to greet me.

"Katniss!"

The hostess leaves us and I can't help the huge grin from spreading over my face at how Peeta is looking at me. He looks like he wants to eat me up and I plan on letting him.

"Hello Peeta, you look very nice."

His face flushes. "Thanks, and you look beautiful, absolutely stunning."

Peeta insists on pulling out my chair for me before sitting back down. As much as I appreciate his chivalry, I just want to get dinner over with so that I can have him for dessert.

After the waiter has taken our orders and delivered a basket of fresh bread, Peeta and I fall into an easy conversation.

"So Katniss, how old are you?" Peeta butters a piece of bread before lifting it to his lips.

I sputter on my water; people don't usually ask such things. "Umm…"

He chuckles at me. "Sorry to be so blunt about it. You just seem so mature, but you have to be in your early twenties, right?"

I nod at him. "I'm twenty-five, and you?" He looks to be close to my age, but I figure that I deserve to know as well.

He smiles at me. "I turned twenty-six last month."

"You're kind of young to own your own business."

Peeta finished his sip of water and wipes off his mouth with his napkin. "Yeah, I have two older brothers and neither of them wanted to take the bakery after my parents retired so I decided to take on the challenge myself."

Hmm…I like a guy who takes charge and doesn't shirk his responsibilities. "And how do you like it?"

"I love to bake and decorate the cakes; the ownership part is okay too. Do you like your job?"

"Yeah, although some of the kids can get out of hand at times, but at least they don't grumble and smell funky like the old people."

Peeta laughs and soon our dinner arrives, piping hot with a delicious aroma.

The two of us dig in, and I take this time to watch how Peeta eats his food. I know that sounds creepy, but the way that a man eats is food is often indicative of what he will be like in bed.

Peeta carefully twirls his linguine noodles around his fork and takes him time chewing his food before he swallows. I like what I see. He will most likely be a thorough lover; making sure that everything (including me) is well taken care of before he takes his own pleasure.

Yes, this one has great potential.

"Katniss?"

"Hmm?"

Peeta looks me in the eye. "Why are you staring at me?"

Shit, he had noticed me. "Oh, sorry, I was just distracted. You know, off in my own little world."

He frowns at me. "Am I boring you or something?"

"What? No, nothing like that. I'm having a nice time."

I try not blatantly stare at him for the rest of dinner. When the waiter brings the check, I reach for my pocketbook to pay my fair share of it.

Peeta sees what I am doing and places his hand gently over mine. A current of electricity passes between us and the feeling is so intense that I wish I could rip his clothes off right this very instant. "It's on me, Katniss."

I shake my head. "It's okay, you don't have to…"

He cuts me off. "Please let me."

I am about to argue with him again, but one look into those baby blue eyes of his and I can't deny him of anything. "Okay, if you insist."

The two of us walk out into the crisp evening air and I know that now is the time to make my move. Since we agreed to meet each other at the restaurant, I can't make him walk me to my door and pull him inside. I have to get him to agree to come home with me right now.

Peeta walks me over to my car and my heart begins to thump loudly in my chest. I usually just go for the blunt, 'let's go back to my place' type of deal, but that doesn't seem like it would work on Peeta.

"I really enjoyed having dinner with you Peeta."

He grins. "Me too, you're great company."

He leans closer and then away a little bit, and then back again.

"Are you okay?"

Peeta sighs and runs a hand through his wavy hair. "I...I really want to kiss you."

Wow, he is so nervous that he is almost acting like we are back in middle school again. Poor guy, I should help him out a little bit. "Kiss me then."

He does as I ask, pressing his warm lips firmly against my own. The electric current is back, sizzling a course from my lips all the way down my body. I kiss him back and our lips move together for a few blissful moments before he takes a step back.

Oh no, he cannot just end our kiss like that. I step forward and wrap my arms around him, pulling him to me and crashing our lips together again. Peeta lets out a small noise of surprise at my actions, but quickly recovers to kiss me back.

I slide my tongue across his lips and when he parts them, our tongues glide together in a passionate dance of desire. I can't get enough of this man.

"Get a room!"

We break apart to see a guy exiting the restaurant and glaring angrily at us.

I lean my forehead against Peeta's. "Yes, why don't we?"

His blue eyes blink at me in confusion and he steps slightly away from me. "Why don't we what?"

Is he dense or something? I mean seriously… "Why don't we get out of here? Go to my place and heat things up a bit?"

Peeta gasps, literally gasps. "What?"

I know he heard what I said though. "You heard me…"

He shakes his head and I can feel everything come crashing down on me. "No, I…I can't."

I must have misjudged him. I swear that he was just as much into me as I was him. "Am I not attractive enough for you, is that it?"

Peeta shakes his head again and sighs loudly. "No, that's not it. Look, there is a big part of me that would love to take you up on your offer, but I'm just not that kind of guy."

I thought that every guy was that kind of guy. Leave it to me to want to sleep with the one guy who wasn't. "It's not like you'd be taking advantage of me, I want this. And you know that I'm not under the influence of alcohol or anything."

He backs away some more. "I really like you Katniss, but I'm not going to sleep with you tonight. If you want to go out again sometime, call me. If not, I guess I'll see you around." With that said, Peeta turns around and heads back to his car.

"Peeta! Wait!"

I try to call out after him, but he ignores me.

I stomp my foot on the ground in anger and frustration. Damn it! I was so close to having him! Why did he have to be such a gentleman? Why couldn't he be like every other guy on the planet and just come to my house and fuck me?

The entire drive home consists of me clawing my nails into the steering wheel and resisting the urge to call Cato to relieve my frustration in some hot, angry sex. But no, I don't want Cato, I still want Peeta.

Our kisses were so explosive and arousing, like I had never felt before. I needed more of that.

Well, I guess it's time for plan B.


	5. A Slight Change of Plans

When I get home, I am still utterly humiliated and confused by what has just transpired. Guys don't usually turn me down like that. I know that Peeta is interested in me, his kiss told me so. What I don't understand is why he wouldn't come back to my house so we could have some hot and sweaty fun together.

I practically tear my clothing off my skin and throw them into a heap on the floor of my bedroom. I throw on a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt and flop down onto my bed. It isn't even that late yet, but I don't feel like doing anything else right now.

I bury myself under my blankets and sigh. If Peeta wasn't so damn good looking and our kiss wasn't so damn exciting, I would just find some other guy to satisfy my needs and entertain me. I hate the way I'm so hung up on some guy I barely know.

So, plan B must be put into action. Not that I actually know what plan B is going to be, just that I need to make a plan B and put it into action immediately. As I lay on my bed, I wonder to myself how exactly I can pursue Peeta without scaring him off again. He did tell me that I could call him if I wanted to go out again sometime. That isn't exactly what I want from him, but maybe after a few dates, he will be a little more willing to come home with me.

Yes, that's it. I'll play little miss innocent for him and we can go out together a few times. Then, when he sees how irresistible I can be, I will pull out all of the stops and seduce him again. Peeta just needs a bit more work than most other guys, but I think that he will be worth the effort in the end.

Satisfied with my new plan, I finally drift off to sleep.

I wake up the next morning to a text from Johanna asking for all of the dirty details. I wonder what the hell she is asking me until I remember that she thinks that I got down and dirty with Peeta last night. If only…

Instead of texting her back, I call her.

"So…how was he? Does he have a nice cock?"

I groan, not wanting to tell Johanna that I didn't get to have sex with Peeta…again. "We didn't have sex…"

There is a pause before Johanna coughs into the phone. "Wait, what? Do you mean to tell me that you didn't get any…again?"

"Pretty much."

"No fucking way! What happened this time?"

I shut my eyes and rub my forehead, trying to ease the headache growing beneath my skin. "We went out to eat and when he was walking me to my car we kissed. He tried to get away with just a little kiss, but I pulled him back for more. And that kiss…that kiss was the most amazing kiss I have ever experienced."

"You sound like some middle school girl who just had her first kiss."

I laugh at her, but she is right, I do sound like a middle school girl when I talk about Peeta sometimes. "I could just really feel the intensity between us. Anyway, some guy told us to 'get a room' and when I asked if Peeta wanted to come back to my place, he refused!"

Johanna seems to be at a loss for words for several moments. "That's kind of hard to believe. Is he a prude or something?"

I sigh into the phone. "I don't think so. He just said that he wasn't 'that type of guy' and then told me to call him if I wanted to go out again sometime."

"Just forget him, he is too much work for one little romp in the sheets."

I can't though; I can't just forget the way his hair looks so sexy when it is all rumpled up, the way his bright blue eyes darken when he looks at me, the way his lips feel against mine… "I just can't let this one go so easily. After a kiss like that, I have to know what it is like to go further with him, I just have to."

I can practically see Johanna rolling her eyes at me through the phone. "Just be careful okay? Don't fall for him…just get what you want and don't turn back."

After I get off the phone with Johanna, I decide to text Peeta and make sure there are no hard feelings.

'Sorry about last night'

I anxiously await his reply, hoping that he can forget what happened…for now at least.

'It's okay; I'm just not one to sleep with a girl on the first date'

Damn it…he really needs to change that. Now I just need to get him to agree to see me again. A few more dates should be enough to convince him to sleep with me.

'Do you want to do something Tuesday evening?'

A few minutes go by without a reply from Peeta and I'm suddenly on edge. What if I scared him away for good?

'I work until five; we can meet up after that.'

Yes! Success! I only work until four on Tuesday so that will give me time to get ready to see him.

'Okay, that sounds good. Do you want to see a movie or something?'

Peeta agrees after a few moments and our second date is set. I hope that it only takes Peeta a few dates before he can't take it anymore and has to have me. I would personally love to have him just jump me and take me wherever we happen to be at the time. I can hardly wait.

I can hardly get through work on Monday because I can't stop thinking about Peeta. I find myself very distracted while trying to give my archery lessons and I think my clients can tell.

On Monday, I work until seven and I have my group of little kids that arrive in the evening. They are between eight and ten years old and quite rambunctious.

"Now, carefully place the arrow on your bow like this."

The kids try to balance their arrows like I showed them, but Joey's keeps on falling off.

"I just can't get it Miss Katniss!"

I lean over and ruffle his dark hair affectionately before showing him how to properly place his arrow again.

The parents are allowed to watch their kids' lessons from the sidelines, so when the lesson is through, Joey's mother comes up to me and smiles.

"Katniss?"

I return her smile as I begin to gather up the stray arrows around the room. "Yes Mrs. Thompson?"

"You are so nice and patient with the children. Joey just loves you."

"Thank you! He's a good kid."

Mrs. Thompson beams and helps Joey to make sure he is ready to leave. "Do you have any children yourself?"

I shake my head at her. Children? Yeah, that will never happen. "Oh, no…I'm not exactly the mothering type."

Her smile turns into a frown and she lightly shakes her head at me. "Actually, I believe you would make a great mother. Have a nice day Katniss."

Mrs. Thompson and Joey wave goodbye and exit the building, leaving me behind, confused by her statement.

Tuesday at work is not much better. I have all older clients, and even though they aren't as hyper as the kids, my teaching skills are still being adversely affected by my preoccupation with seeing Peeta later on.

When I am finally done for the day, I rush home to get ready to go to the movies.

I dress casually in a pair of dark jeans and a purple top that shows off a nice hint of cleavage, not that Peeta ever looks.

The movie theater is dark and crowded when we arrive. We decided to go see the new action flick that everyone has been talking about, so we have a hard time finding two seats together.

Finally, Peeta sees two seats near the back and we scramble to claim them.

During the previews, Peeta whispers into my ear. "The girl beside me keeps bumping into my leg and leaning closer to me. It's kinda creeping me out. Can you do me a favor and kiss me in a possessive girlfriend type of way? That way maybe she will leave me alone if she thinks I am dating you."

I look at him in shock for a moment before nodding. Oh Peeta, I can do a lot more than kiss you, if only you would let me.

I see the girl bump Peeta's leg again, and when he looks over at her, she giggles. No, that little bitch cannot have my Peeta.

I wrap my arm possessively around his shoulders and turn his face towards mine before pulling him forward for a kiss.

His lips meet mine and my body is instantly electrified. The current runs through me and heads straight to my core as I deepen the kiss. Our tongues meet in an aggressive battle for dominance, which I quickly win.

I almost forget that I am in the movie theater, until Peeta abruptly pulls back, breathing hard. He smiles and whispers in my ear again. "I think it worked. She seems thoroughly disgusted now."

I laugh lightly and whisper back. "Happy to help. Feel free to ask me to sexually harass you in public any time."

"It wouldn't be harassment."

I look at him in shock, he is flirting with me. Flirting with me and more or less agreeing to me being sexually aggressive towards him in public! Yes, now we are getting somewhere!

I want to say something sexy or suggestive back to him, but the movie begins to play and Peeta is now fixated on the screen before us.

Oh well, this is a step ahead and I'm looking forward to more.


	6. Frustration

I could hardly pay attention to the movie playing in front of me. Not when there is a sexy man like Peeta sitting right next to me. It doesn’t help that he occasionally leans over and whispers something into my ear either. His soft voice tickles my ear and sends pleasurable shivers down my spine.

When the movie is finally over, I want to grab Peeta and have my way with him right here, right now. Who knew that whispers could be so hot?

Peeta takes my hand and leads me from the theater. The place where our hands are joined tingles pleasantly and when we get outside I don’t want him to let go.

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight.” His blue eyes sparkle as he smiles at me and my heart begins to beat loudly in my chest.

I did have a nice time at the movies with him, but what I really want is to take him home and fuck him until the sun comes up. I try to suppress my urges, knowing that he will not go home with me until he gets to know me better. “I had fun; we should get together again soon.”

He nods causing some of his hair to fall over his eyes. It looks so sexy like that and I feel a twinge deep within me at the thought of his hair falling into his face as he tastes me. I need to learn some patience, but I can’t wait until his head is in between my thighs.

I am lost in my thoughts when I remember that Peeta is still standing in front of me. “Katniss? Are you okay?”

I shake myself from my little fantasy. “Oh, sorry. I spaced out there for a moment.”

Peeta chuckles at me. “It’s okay.”

I smile back at him, and before he can get away, I lean up and kiss him.

He lets out a muffled sound in surprise, but soon he is kissing me back. 

I sweep my tongue against his lips and he parts them. The moment our tongues touch, I feel a surge of desire sizzle its way down my body. I can’t help the tiny moan that escapes my lips and Peeta responds by deepening our kiss even further.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him as close to me as possible, fitting our bodies together like two puzzle pieces. He is so warm and he smells like pastries and all I want to do is get lost in him.

All too soon, Peeta breaks off the kiss, panting hard. 

I want to pull him back and kiss him until both of our lips are swollen from the contact. “Peeta,” I breathe out.

He presses his forehead against mine and looks into my eyes. “Katniss…God, you’re so beautiful.”

I need this man. I need him right now. I wish there was some way I could convince him to take things a little bit further. I give him a sexy, seductive smile and lean over to whisper in his ear. “Thank you, you’re quite sexy yourself.”

I see Peeta shiver for a moment before his face turns crimson. “Uh…thanks. So, I’ll call you soon, okay?”

Damn him! I know he can’t be that immune to my charms! Why can’t he just give in and not be such a gentleman? I sigh loudly. “Okay, goodnight Peeta.”

He leans in and gives me a small kiss. “Goodnight.”

 

When I get home, I am still horny. I would go as far as to call it sexual frustration. Can’t he feel the sexual tension between us? The sweet ache that longs to be filled? How can he resist it?

I know I can’t, which is why I go straight up to my room, strip off my clothes and get into bed.

Thoughts of Peeta and what I want him to do to me filter into my mind as my hand trails down to the wetness already present between my legs.

 

Peeta slowly kisses his down my stomach and lower, his teeth grazing my hip bone. I moan at the intense pleasure that he is giving me.

“Peeta, please…”

He lifts his blond head up and looks at me with those ocean blue eyes, dotted with a hint of mischief. “Please what? Tell me what you want Katniss.”

I’m not really shy in bed, so tell him. “I want you to go down on me.”

He laughs lightly. “So blunt…I like a girl who knows what she wants.” His kisses continue, lower and lower until I feel his hot breath between my legs. He takes his time, teasing me until I feel as if I can take no more. Finally, I feel his tongue lightly trace my folds and I moan in pleasure.

“More.”

Peeta obliges, flicking his tongue against me until he finds my clit. My hips arch upwards and my hands clutch at my sheets as he continues. The pleasure is growing insurmountably and I can tell it won’t be long…

 

And it isn’t. My orgasm hits me hard, the waves of bliss wracking my body in the most delicious way. My fantasy fades as I come down from my high. 

My cell phone rings from my nightstand and when I look to see who is calling, I see Peeta’s name pop up. I smile to myself, it’s like he knew that I was thinking about him.

“Hey sexy.”

There is a slight pause before he answers me. “Hi Katniss.”

“What can I do for you?” Seriously, he need only name it and I would do it, sexually anyway.

He sighs. “This is going to sound weird and I probably shouldn’t have called you and I will hang up now if you want…”

He is babbling, obviously nervous. “Whoa there, calm down. Just tell me what you wanted to say.”

Peeta takes a deep breath and starts again. “Okay, I hope you don’t think this is weird or anything, but after you left, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Actually, I still can’t stop thinking about you.”

Wow, he feels it too? Some undeniable force between us? “I was just thinking about you as well. There is just something between us, you feel it too?”

“Yes,” he whispers, his voice husky and deep.

Just the tone of his voice is turning me on…again. Against my better judgment, I decide to take a chance and ask him to come over. “I don’t have to work until the afternoon tomorrow; do you want to come over for a while?”

Silence, that is all I hear for a good minute. Then finally… “Yeah, I’d like that. Where do you live?”

Oh my… Did he seriously just agree to come over? Am I dreaming? Am I still stuck inside a fantasy? Before, he can change his mind, I rattle off my address and he says he will be over in an hour.

My body is literally shaking as we get off the phone. My wish is finally coming true, and much sooner than I had anticipated!

I must prepare for Peeta’s arrival so I put clean sheets on my bed and then walk to my dresser to find some nice lingerie.

I contemplate answering the door in just a bra and panties, but I think that might scare the poor guy off. Instead, I pick out a red lace bra and matching boy shorts and slip them on before putting my clothes back on as well.

I let my hair out of its usual braid and it falls into waves against my back. Next, I put on a little bit of makeup to enhance my eyes, just some smoky eyeliner and a tad of mascara.

I’m so anxious about him coming over that I almost forget to check my condom supply. When I see that I have none left, I curse to myself. Oh well, I’m sure he will bring some with him.

Right before Peeta is supposed to arrive, I get out a bottle of tequila and some shot glasses, just in case he needs a little bit of liquid courage to ‘loosen up’ before we begin.

Now all that’s left to do is wait.

 

About ten minutes later, there is a knock at my door. I smooth my clothing out and head over to answer it.

Peeta is standing there, looking as sexy as ever. When he sees me, he gives me a shy smile. “Hey, thanks for inviting me over.”

“No problem, please come in.”

He follows me into the house and I lead him to the sofa. “Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink?”

He nods so I bring out the tequila and shot glasses. “Tequila? What, don’t you have soda or water?”

I shake my head at him. “Oh Peeta, soda and water are so boring. Where is your sense of adventure?”

He smirks at me. “Okay, pour me a shot.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” I pour us each a shot and hand him a wedge of lime. “One, two, three!”

I tilt my head back and let the liquid burn down my throat before chasing it with my own lime wedge. I immediately pour another for each of us before Peeta can protest.

 

Not too much later, we are both feeling the effects of the alcohol. I feel slightly dizzy, but amazing. Peeta is giving me a lazy smile and when he pulls me against him and kisses me, I know that my fantasy is about to come true.


	7. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Peeta and I are sitting together on the sofa as he kisses me. I can taste the tequila on him and I know that he is more than a bit intoxicated. I’m intoxicated as well, but not from the alcohol. No, I am intoxicated on him, everything about him. The way his hair falls into his face, the feel of his muscles as I trace my hands over his chest, the rough texture of his tongue as he glides it against mine, all of these things and so much more are causing my heart to beat uncontrollably in my chest.

Peeta shifts so that his body is leaning over mine and I scoot backwards so that I am practically horizontal on the sofa. He doesn’t miss a beat as he slowly lowers himself on top of me, never breaking our kiss.

The feel of his warm body pressed up against mine causes a moan to escape my mouth. Before anything else, I need to get him out of his shirt so I can inspect his upper body for myself. I gently pull his shirt up and over his head, waiting for him to stop me. When he doesn’t, I toss the shirt on the floor and lift up mine next.

“Mmm…let me.” Peeta takes the soft fabric of my shirt and slowly lifts it off of me, throwing it onto the floor next to his.

I take a moment to let my gaze linger across the muscled expanse of his chest and abdomen. His muscles are nicely defined, but he isn’t overly muscular, just enough to be extremely appealing and sexy as hell.

Once I am finally able to tear my gaze from his body, I notice that he is staring at my chest. I give him a sexy smile and begin to slide the straps of my bra down my shoulders.

Peeta’s eyes never leave my chest, and he certainly isn’t complaining so I unclasp the garment and let it fall forward.

This is going so well, it looks like he just needed some liquid courage to loosen him up a bit.  
I carefully slip my bra off the rest of the way, studying Peeta’s reaction the entire time. He seems entranced, his normally clear blue eyes, now clouded over with desire. When he sees my bare breasts, his tongue swipes out to lick his lips.

I give him my best sexy smile. “Do you like what you see?”

Peeta swallows and nods.

I chuckle lightly at him before pulling him back down over me. “Kiss me,” I demand.

He does as I ask, planting his lips firmly on my own before letting his body lay over mine once again.

The skin on skin contact is almost more than I can take. My entire body is thrumming in pleasure as I entwine my fingers in his unruly hair and deepen our kiss.

After a few moments of pure bliss, Peeta pulls away, panting hard. I can’t help but to cringe as I await the inevitable stop sign that he is about to put up.

I am more than a little bit surprised when instead of speaking, Peeta just begins to trail his lips across my neck, stopping ever so often to lightly suck or bite the delicate skin there.

His lips move lower, down to my collarbone and I arch my back a bit to help give him better access.

“I love the way you taste, so sweet, sinfully sweet.” He mumbles his words against my skin, causing tiny vibrations that are driving me crazy.

When Peeta finally makes his way down to my right breast, I am so turned on that I can barely breathe. I feel his hot, moist breath against my nipple, followed shortly afterward by his tongue.

“Oh Peeta…”

He lifts his head up off of my breast. “Do you want me to stop?”

I look at him like he is crazy. “No! I mean, keep going…please?”

Peeta smiles at me before moving his mouth towards my chest again. His lips find my nipple and suckle it into his mouth, he slowly takes his time to worship my breast and I can’t help but to feel a sense of satisfaction on what an amazing lover he is thus far.

Suddenly, he stops. I let out an involuntary whine slip past my lips and urge him to continue.

Nothing. I sit up further and when he doesn’t move, I lift him up off of me. He is passed out cold. 

“Damn it! What the fuck?” He was fine a moment ago and now he is out! I shake him gently, then a bit harder to wake him up, but I get no response. He is still breathing and I can feel his heart thumping beneath my hand so I know he is okay, just unconscious.

Well shit! That was not on tonight’s agenda. Somehow I managed to move the dead weight that is Peeta’s well-toned body off of mine and back onto the sofa. I grab a spare blanket from my closet and cover him up with it. It doesn’t seem like he is getting up any time soon so I might as well make him comfortable.

 

After Peeta is taken care of, I take care of myself in the shower before heading off to bed. I am sorely disappointed that he passed out on me…literally. I was really looking forward to getting his head between my thighs, at the very least, and now it looks like I will have to wait once again. 

When I wake up the next morning, I immediately go downstairs to check on Peeta. The blanket is now scrunched up at his feet, but other than that, he looks almost exactly how I left him last night. 

“Peeta?”

He doesn’t move so I gently shake his shoulders. “Peeta, wake up!”

His eyes flutter open and as soon as he sees me, he jerks upwards. “Katniss! What the…” He slumps back down onto the sofa, wincing in pain. “Ouch…major headache.”

I smirk at him and shake my head. The man clearly cannot hold his liquor. 

“What…what happened?”

I roll my eyes at him. “You passed out, that’s what happened.”

Peeta wrinkles his nose. “Wow, I’m sorry, I must have been wasted.”

Hmm…it almost seems like he doesn’t even remember what happened. I guess it’s my job to enlighten him. “Well, we both had quite a few shots of tequila, followed by some foreplay on the sofa, and then you passed out.”

He looks confused. “I’m sor…wait, did you say foreplay?”

Oh no, he really doesn’t remember. “Yes, that is what I would call what happened between us.”

Peeta blinks at me. “How far did we go?”

I sit next to him on the sofa and sigh. It wasn’t far enough in my opinion, but it was probably too far in his. “Let’s see…no shirts, no bra, your mouth, my chest.”

His face turns an interesting shade of red at my statement. He is seriously confusing me beyond belief. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that the man is a virgin or something. No, he is way too good looking and way too talented for that to be true.

“Umm…this is awkward,” Peeta sputters out. “I really shouldn’t have drank so much last night. I should leave.”

He goes to get up, but my hand shoots out and grabs his wrist. “No! I mean, you don’t have to leave.”

Peeta shakes his head and untangles his wrist from my grasp. “I’m sorry Katniss. I just can’t do this right now. I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Fine.”

He gives me a sad smile and leaves.

 

After he is gone, I decide to head to work early and practice my archery for a while before my clients arrive. Shooting my bow and arrows always makes me feel better when I am down or frustrated.

However, I am so distracted by the thought of how good Peeta’s body felt against mine and how his mouth felt against my breast that I can’t really concentrate on my archery skills at all.

I should really just forget about Peeta and find another guy to go after. No one should be worth the hassle that that man has put me through. Any other guy would’ve taken me home the first night and fucked me until the sun came up. But no, not Peeta, he had to be all ‘old-fashioned’ and want to go on some actual dates before he screwed me.

I decide that I need to learn more about Peeta Mellark, so I do the honorable thing and google his name. 

At first I get nothing, and then…pay dirt.

I click on the link that leads me to a news article from about a year ago.

‘Local Baker Gets Taken For $500,000 By Con Woman.’ 

‘Local baker Peeta Mellark recently got conned by a woman who he thought loved him…’

The article goes on to explain how Peeta, who ran a highly successful bakery in New York, fell in love with some lady and hastily married her without a prenuptial agreement. A few months after the wedding, she left him, taking all of his money with her. Afterward, he found out that she had done this to several other men all around the country, changing her name and basic appearance (hair color and colored contacts) each time. 

My heart goes out to Peeta as I read the article. The poor guy was just so naïve and wanted to believe that that woman loved him, and look where it got him.

See, that’s why I don’t do love. Love is too dangerous to be trifled with. Just look what it did to Peeta.

No, my heart is safer when I keep it to myself, I must always remember that.


	8. Down And Out

It has been a few days since I last spoke to Peeta. I think he might still be embarrassed about what happened the other night and I’m still in shock about what I learned from the internet about his past.

Peeta is a really nice guy and sexy as hell, but what that woman did to him was plain wrong. She pretended to be in love with him in order to get his money. A little voice inside of my head says that I am no better, going out on dates with Peeta just to get him in bed. I try to push that thought away. I would never pretend to be in love with him. I know firsthand how much pain love can put you through, and I don’t want to do that to anyone.

 

During my first year of college, I met a guy named Gale. We hit it off immediately, and our relationship quickly evolved from mere flirting to full on love in no time. He was the epitome of what I thought a perfect man would be, charming, handsome, and driven.

He took me out to dinner several times a week, bathed me in flowers and candy, and taught me all about sex. I was totally head over heels in love with him, and I thought that he felt the same way about me.

I was wrong, completely and utterly wrong. I found out exactly how wrong I was on one cold winter day. It was our six month anniversary and I wanted to surprise him by coming by his dorm and showing off some new blow job moves I had learned online.

I was so excited to see him that I totally ignored the odd sounds I heard coming from his dorm room and I burst right in.

The sight I walked into will be forever burned into my memory. Gale and some blonde chick where going at it on his bed, stark naked and grunting like a pair of animals.

I bolted from the room and Gale didn’t even bother going after me. I found out later that he never loved me; he was just using me as a ‘trophy girlfriend’ to show that he could get anyone that he wanted.

I was heartbroken, but determined to get on with my life. I was doing fairly well, until my dad died. He was on his way to a business trip overseas when the plane went down. They never found his body.

My mother was devastated. She stopped eating, working, and taking care of my sister. She became a shell of a woman, the life drained from her because of my father’s death. I was forced to transfer to a local college to finish my education so I could take care of my mother and sister.

That was when I decided that love wasn’t worth it. It destroyed everything.

 

I shook myself from the bad memories of years’ past. I can’t focus on that now. I need to move forward in my plan to have sex with Peeta. I am not going to pretend to be in love with him and take his money; I am just pretending to date him in order to sleep with him. That isn’t so bad…is it?

 

I wake up the next day with a terrible sore throat and a fever. I feel like shit and when I look in the mirror, I see that I look like it as well. 

I groan and somehow manage to call my doctor, who promptly insists that I come in to the office.

I hate going to the doctor’s, but I will do anything right now to get rid of this awful sore throat.

 

“Yep, definitely looks like strep throat to me. I’ll write you a prescription for some antibiotics.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, my voice too scratchy to say much more.

“Now, get plenty of rest and drink lots of fluids. Also, make sure that you take the full course of antibiotics. You will feel better in a few days; back make sure you don’t stop the medication until it has run out. Okay?”

I nod my head in agreement and take the prescription from the doctor.

The entire way to the pharmacy, and then back to my house is a huge blur. I am so out of it that I don’t actually remember walking back through my front door; I just know that I made it to my bed somehow.

My phone rings, and the shrill sound of it hurts my ears. I go to silence it, determined not to speak to anyone in my current state, but when I see that it is Peeta, I find myself answering. “Hello?”

“Katniss? What’s wrong with your voice?”

I cough to try to clear my throat a bit. “I have strep throat…I just got back from the doctor’s office.”

Peeta is silent for a moment. “Oh, I was going to see if you wanted to get together, but it’s obvious that you aren’t feeling well right now.”

Thank you Captain Obvious… “Yeah, I’m sorry. I should be back in commission in a few days though.”

“Okay Katniss. I hope you feel better soon!”

I toss my phone on the nightstand and snuggle under my covers, trying to rest.

 

The next day, I get a call from my work, telling me that several of the children have come down with strep throat. My supervisor laughs when he realizes that I have it as well. Damn kids and their germs.

I manage to make it downstairs, and I know I need to eat something, so I shuffle my way to the refrigerator. Before I can decide on cereal versus toast, my doorbell rings.

Figuring that my mother or sister got wind of my illness, I don’t bother to change clothes or brush my hair before I answer the door.

Big mistake. Standing outside is not my mother or sister, but Peeta. Peeta Mellark is on my doorstep, holding a bag of something in his hand and smiling from ear to ear.

I groan inwardly. He just had to show up now, when I am dressed in old, ratty sweat pants and a T-shirt with a hole in it. “Peeta?”

He continues to grin at me. “Hey, I have the day off today so I brought you some chicken soup and some of my homemade cheese buns.”

I manage to give him a smile. He is much too sweet. “Thanks.”

I open the door wider and let him in. Peeta carries the food over to my kitchen counter and begins to take the items out of the bag.

“You know, I’m probably still contagious…” I feel like I should warn him that coming near me might be a bad idea.”

He just chuckles and shakes his head at me. “I have a very strong immune system Katniss. Plus, I don’t plan on kissing you, just making sure you get some good food.”

I shake my head at him. No guy has ever done something so nice for me before. Peeta’s gesture of kindness causes a twinge in my heart. It’s an odd feeling and I don’t quite know what it means.

“Well, thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I need to change and brush my hair. I’m sure I look terrifying right now.”

Peeta shakes his head at me. “Don’t be silly, you look fine. I don’t expect you to change into something nice when you aren’t feeling well. Now, come sit down and let me get you some soup.”

I am too weak to argue, so I sit at the kitchen island counter as Peeta pours me a large bowl of chicken soup and offers me a cheese bun to go with it. 

I eat slowly, mostly because my throat still hurts, but the soup and the cheese buns taste pretty good, and the warm broth actually feels kind of nice against my inflamed throat.

Peeta chats amiably with me while I finish my meal. I give him short answers or a nod or shake of the head in response to any questions that he poses.

When I am full, I push away the rest of the food and smile at him. “Thanks Peeta. It was so nice of you to bring me this stuff.”

His cheeks turn a little bit red as he smiles back at me. “You’re welcome. I know that being sick sucks and I hope that the soup and cheese buns made it suck a little bit less.”

I nod at him, but when I go to say thanks again, a yawn comes out instead. I just woke up not two hours ago and I am already tired again. I hate being sick.

Peeta laughs lightly at my yawn. “Are you tired?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go lie down again if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He replies before swiftly lifting me up and carrying me towards the stairs.

At first, I think about asking him to put me down. I’m a tough young woman, not some damsel in distress. However, I’m so out of it and it feels nice to be in his arms, against his warm body.

When we get to my bedroom, Peeta gently lays me down and pulls the blankets over my body. “Feel better soon Katniss.”

I feel myself drifting off into sleep already, but not before I feel Peeta place a kiss on my forehead before he leaves.


	9. Confession

I wake up the next morning groggy, but feeling a lot better. The past few days have been a blur, except for when Peeta decided to take it upon himself to take care of me. Oh, and him kissing my forehead as I fell asleep, I remember that too.

I feel things between Peeta and I becoming quite complicated. This is exactly what I wanted to avoid all along, this complication of feelings becoming involved.

I manage to get myself into the shower and dressed for the day when I hear my doorbell ring.

I hope it's Peeta with more of those yummy cheese buns.

It's not. Instead, my sister is standing at my doorstop with a bag of groceries in her hand. "Hey, I brought you some food. Are you feeling any better?"

I nod and let her inside. "Yeah, I do feel better. How've you been?"

"Fine, fine. Now, let's see what you have to go with what I brought…" Prim's voice trails off as she sees the leftover chicken soup from when Peeta was over. "Who brought you the soup?"

No, Prim does not need to know about Peeta. That would only complicate things even further. "Umm…a friend of mine brought it over for me yesterday."

Prim raises one of her eyebrows at me. "Johanna brought you soup? Somehow I don't see that happening."

I sigh and shake my head. Why can't she ever just let it go? "It wasn't Johanna. This is a new friend. You haven't met him yet." Shit! The word 'him' just popped out of my mouth before I could even realize it!

The grin on my sister's face is a mile wide. "Oh? You have a new male friend? Or is he just your fuck buddy?"

I flinch, hearing the words 'fuck buddy' come out of my baby sister's mouth is a bit too much for me to handle right now. "Don't ever utter the words 'fuck buddy' around me ever again."

Prim snorts at me. "Ha! That's what you call them isn't it? Your little male friends? You've told me time and time again how dangerous love can be, but I know you, and I know that you like to find random guys to have sex with."

I am in complete and utter shock right now. I have no idea how Prim knows about my 'sexual adventures', but this is bad, very bad. "Look, Peeta is seriously just a friend. We haven't had sex. He's…he's just…nice."

Her bright blue eyes look like they are about to bulge out of their sockets. "Nice? He's nice? And you haven't fucked him yet? What's wrong with you?"

"No, what's wrong with you? Since when do you use words like 'fucked' anyway?"

She shakes her head at me and sits down on the bar stool at my kitchen island counter. "Don't change the subject. You're the one who always tells me to stay away from guys and here you are developing feelings for one."

No, there are no feelings. None. This isn't happening. "I do not have feelings for him! I just think he is a nice guy."

Prim rolls her eyes at me. "Really Katniss? I'm your own sister and you can't even tell me when you are falling for someone?"

I just want to stick my fingers in my ears so that I can't hear her, but her words are seeping into my mind, and I'm beginning to believe them. "But…but my rules…"

"Screw your rules! Life should be lived without rules. If you like this guy and have feelings for him, which I can tell you do, go for it!"

I bury my face in my hands. I can't believe it, all this time I've been trying to keep from becoming too close to Peeta, and my little sister sees right through me. I like him, I like him a lot and not just in a friendly matter either.

After Prim leaves and I am alone once again, I can't stop thinking about Peeta. Every little thing about him is attractive to me, and not just physically. He is so sweet and kind. He is a hard worker. He is sexy and masculine and perfect. I've been doomed all along.

My hands are shaking as I pick up the phone to call Peeta.

"Hello?"

My mouth has suddenly gone dry, I can't think of anything to say to him.

"Hello? Katniss?"

"Hi," I manage to say eventually.

"Hey, what's up?" His voice is so friendly and calm that it eases my nerves a little bit.

Now why did I call him again? Oh yes… "Are you umm…busy tonight?"

Peeta hesitates for a moment. "Uh…not really. Why?"

How is someone 'not really' busy? "I just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out for a while. I'm feeling better and would like some company."

"I would love to see you, but I have to watch my brother's dog overnight. Can you come over to my place and we can watch a movie or something?"

I don't like going to a guy's place. I feel like I can't escape when I'm with them. If they are at my house I can kick them out at anytime with no issue. Being at Peeta's house would be weird, but since I'm still trying to sort out my feelings for him, I decide to give it a go. "Yeah, that sounds good. What time?"

"Seven okay?"

"Yeah, text me your address and I'll see you then."

When we hang up, I'm shaking again. I haven't had significant feelings for a guy in so long that I almost forgot what it was like. The nervousness, the fluttery feeling in my stomach, the pounding heart, and the slightly sweaty palms are all present right now.

I take deep breaths to calm myself down a bit. It will be okay, I will be okay. No one ever said that I had to get married to the man, I just feel more for him than most of my other 'targets'. I can still have sex with him and perhaps, possibly, maybe, try out a relationship with him. That is, if he feels the same way about me. I mean, I think he does, he certainly seems like he does. Guys don't usually bring soup to sick girls when there isn't some kind of feeling involved. Right?

As I'm getting ready to go to Peeta's house, I pass by my dwindling stock of condoms. I almost reach for one, but decide against it. I know Peeta and there is no way he is ready to have sex with me yet. We will probably just cuddle on his couch and make out; maybe if I'm lucky his hands will wander like when he was drunk too. No, I won't force him to go further than he wants to.

My own thoughts surprise me. I'm pushing my own life rules aside to pursue something that I hope is better for me. Maybe Prim finally got through to me, or maybe Peeta is just that great of a guy, either way I'm both nervous and excited about it.

I finally find his house, a cute ranch style about ten minutes away from my own. I gather myself mentally before climbing the stairs of his porch and knocking on the door.

Half of me is screaming to turn around and drive away, the other half can't wait to start something new with Peeta.

I hear the distinct sound of a dog barking and then growling at the door. "Waldo! Waldo stop it!"

Waldo? His brother has a dog named Waldo?

Peeta opens the door a moment later, holding a black lab by the collar. "Hey Katniss, sorry if Waldo scared you, he won't bite."

I eye the big furry animal warily, but he is now wagging his tail at me. Weird dog.

Peeta lets me in the house and I study my surroundings. It looks like a bachelor pad, but with the added touch of some artwork. It is also a lot neater than most guys' houses seem to be.

A few moments later, Peeta and I settle ourselves on his overstuffed couch to watch the movie. I'm not paying attention to it though. All I can think about is how close our bodies are and how amazing he smells. His arm is wrapped around my neck and I am leaning against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heartbeat.

Usually this kind of intimate setting with a guy would either make me want to run or want to jump straight to sex. But, somehow I find myself oddly content in his arms and I feel no real need to take things further at this moment.


	10. Should Have Known

When the movie ends, I am reluctant to leave the warmth of Peeta’s arms. I’m not one to cuddle, so I am more than a little bit surprised by my feelings of comfort being with him. I can no longer deny that I am falling for him.

Peeta shuts off the movie and lifts my chin. His eyes sparkle despite the dim lighting of the living room and his mouth covers my own in a gentle kiss. I almost tell him to stop, but then I remember that I am no longer contagious and Peeta said he had a strong immune system anyway.

So instead, I go about enjoying the kiss. I love the feel of his lips, slightly chapped rubbing against my own. I love it even more when he slips his tongue inside my mouth and pulls me closer to him.

Peeta shifts our bodies so that he is lying on top of me, his arms supporting his weight on either side of my body. Warmth radiates inside of me and begins to pool low in my belly. I try to fight the arousal that I am feeling from just kissing him, but I know that it is a battle I am not likely to win.

I thread my fingers through Peeta’s unruly blond locks and pull him down so that his full body is flush against my own. I can feel his hard length touching my thigh and my body begs me to take things further.

But I’m trying to reform myself, and even though Peeta seems to be enjoying himself now, he may not actually want to do anything else with me. It takes all of my will power, but I wrench my face away from his and gently push him off of me.

Peeta is panting and his face is flushed pink. He looks so sexy, and I almost immediately regret stopping him.

“Katniss? Is something wrong?”

I shake my head. “No, but I…I should probably head home now, it’s kinda late.”

Peeta’s gaze flicks to a clock on the living room wall and then back at me. “It’s not that late, and I don’t have work tomorrow. Do you?”

“No, I don’t.”

He looks at me, clearly confused. “What’s the issue then? Did I offend you or make you upset in some way?”

I sigh and sit back down on the sofa. Apparently he isn’t going to let this go. “Look Peeta, I like you. I like you a lot, but I’m trying to take things slow, for you. I know I kind of surprised you with my ‘let’s jump right into bed’ attitude before, so I want to take things slower. I want to do this on your terms.”

The corners of his lips turn up into a smile. “I like you a lot too…”

I wait for him to say that he appreciates my efforts in taking it slow, or something along those lines. But that isn’t what comes out of his mouth next.

“And of tired of taking things slow. I want you.” His blue eyes are fixated on me, the pupils dilated with arousal.

I don’t know what to make of this new, horny Peeta. I’m really not sure what has gotten into him at all. “Umm…this is a sudden change of heart, isn’t it?”

He shrugs. “Not really. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you, but I didn’t want to rush into anything, and when you wanted to sleep with me after our first date, I was in shock. It was too soon for me, I wanted to make sure that you just didn’t want sex; that you wanted an actual relationship with me, and now I think that you do.”

If only he knew how true his words are. But that is the old me. The new me does want to try a real relationship with Peeta.

I grin at him and throw my arms around his neck. “Yes, I do. I want a real relationship with you. I want to be with you.”

Peeta’s lips crash into mine and the sheer force of it propels me back against the wall. I return his kiss hungrily and the passion between us explodes. His hands are everywhere, in my hair, then tracing down my sides, then down to my ass as he lifts me up against the wall.

I wrap my legs tightly around his waist, feeling his erection grinding against me. 

“Peeta!” I call out his name as his lips move from my mouth to my neck, scraping his teeth across my sensitive skin. I’m on fire, pure molten heat flows through every one of my veins.

Peeta hoists me up a bit further and proceeds to carry me down the hall into his bedroom. He gently sets me down on his bed and kneels before me, taking off my shoes and socks and then removing his own. 

He’s back on me in an instant, kissing my lips, my neck, and pulling down the collar of my shirt to get to my shoulder.

“Just take it off,” I growl at him, impatient to feel his lips on every inch of my skin.

Peeta rids me of my shirt and sheds his as well. His toned body is a masterpiece, beautiful and masculine at the same time.

It doesn’t take him long to make his way to my breasts and when he claws at the clasp of my bra, I lean up to help him take it off.

His lips trail kisses across my left breast, sending goosebumps over my flesh. But when he takes my nipple into his mouth and begins to suckle it, I can’t help the desperate moan that escapes my lips.

Peeta takes his time worshipping both of my breasts before kissing his way down my stomach to the waistline of my pants. He pauses for a moment and then glances up at me. “May I?”

I nod fervently. “Y…yes.”

His long fingers deftly unbutton and unzip my jeans, sliding them down and off of my body. My panties follow quickly afterward, landing somewhere on the floor by my pants.

I can feel his gaze raking over my naked body, taking in every inch of bare skin. “Wow, you’re so beautiful.”

I close my eyes when I feel his finger slide across my clit and into my wet center. “Mmm…and so wet.”

I don’t reply to him, I just focus on the sensation of one, and then two of his fingers gliding across my folds and then dipping inside, teasing me. “Peeta, stop teasing me!”

He chuckles. “Shh…just let me enjoy myself, okay?”

I whimper at him in response. He withdraws his fingers, and I open my eyes just in time to see him lick his lips and pull my thighs further apart so that he can rest in between them. The first flick of his tongue against my clit has me crying out in pleasure, and when he thrusts his fingers inside of me and curls them upwards, my back arches and my hips buck so hard that I nearly hit him in the head. The sensation of his fingers and tongue against me is quickly pulling me towards a powerful climax.  
The pleasure builds into a shuddering crescendo, sending me over the edge. My walls throb around his fingers and I cry out his name once again.

I lay there, spent, for a few moments, letting the pleasant after effects of my orgasm wash over my body. I knew it. I knew that he would be good at that.

When I am fully recovered, I flip Peeta onto his back and yank at his pants, eager to get them off of his body. “Whoa there, those are my favorite jeans!”

“I don’t care,” I growl at him, finally pulling the fabric free and discarding them over my shoulder. I look down and admire the large bulge that has formed underneath of his gray boxer briefs. 

I waste no time tugging those down as well. Peeta’s erection springs free, hard and ready and my hand immediately trails down to stroke it.

He is firm and warm in my hand, and I desperately want to taste him and return the favor, but he stops me. “Katniss, please…I just want to be inside of you.”

I nod in agreement, the desire of anticipation building up inside of me. I lay back on the bed while Peeta ruffles through the drawer in his nightstand. “Fuck!”

I lean up, peering over his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

He pounds his fist angrily at the pillow beside him. “I…I don’t have any condoms.”

Well, doesn’t that suck? But wait… “I’m on birth control and I’m clean. I’ll assume you’re clean as well.”

He nods. “Of course. Are you sure it’s okay? I can still pull out if you want me to.”

“No need. We will be fine.”

Peeta breathes a sigh of relief and settles himself on top of me. In one quick motion, he sheathes himself inside of me and we both moan at the contact.

I hitch my thighs over his hips and meet him thrust for thrust. He leans down and kisses me, pulling my head up with one hand while the other braces his body. Our lips and tongues meld together in sync with our bodies. He keeps a slow pace, much slower than the usual fast and furious sex that I am used to.

I can’t help but to enjoy the slowness of it, the passion that burns between us.

Both of us start to breathe heavier as Peeta shifts us so that his pelvis rubs against my clit as he moves. 

“Come for me Katniss,” he demands. And I do, waves of ecstasy crash over my body and after a few more thrusts, Peeta joins me.

We lay there, panting, our skin slick with sweat as we both come down from our high. “Wow…just wow.”

I laugh lightly. “My thoughts exactly.”

We clean ourselves up and crawl back into his bed, still naked. “You’re staying the night, right?”

I smile at him and kiss his forehead. “Of course.”

Peeta smiles back and holds me as we both start to fall asleep.


	11. Panic

The soft light of morning filters through the window and wakes me. My eyes flutter open and take in the unfamiliar surroundings around me. A large mahogany desk in the corner, a bookcase along the wall, a dresser to the side of the bookcase, and numerous paintings decorate the walls of the room.

Where am I? I hear a shuffle next to me and feel a warm arm snake around my waist. That’s when I completely wake up. A shiver wracks my body as I recall the events of last night. Peeta is a very thorough lover, and I swear I can still feel tingles on my skin from his touch.

The shivers stop and my body goes rigid as I remember more and more. It was almost if Peeta had made love to me, not just had sex with me. Love. The word fills me with a choking sense of panic that seizes my entire being.

I try to shake these thoughts from my mind. I’m trying to turn over a new leaf here, trying to form an actual relationship and not just one based solely on sex. Plus, Peeta looks so adorable laying naked cuddled up next me. 

My heart begins to thud loudly in my chest, the beats of it shuddering faster and faster. Panic swells inside of my chest and I can’t breathe. Slowly, I extract myself from Peeta’s arms and make it to the bathroom. There, I splash some cold water on my face and attempt to calm myself down. I try to take deep breaths, but it just isn’t working. I feel sick to my stomach and my extremities begin to tingle with numbness. I’m having a panic attack. I’m having a fucking panic attack inside of Peeta’s bathroom.

I have to get out of here…NOW. I have to leave before the numbness spreads, before the panic crests and I am unable to do anything about it.

I silently gather my clothing, and with one last longing gaze at Peeta, I leave his house. 

Tears begin to form in my eyes as I start my car and speed off towards home. I tried, I really tried to do the whole ‘relationship’ thing and look where it got me. Maybe I should have left a note or something, but what would it have said? ‘Thanks for the mind-blowing sex, I thought I was ready for a relationship, but I had a panic attack and had to leave’? Yeah, that would’ve gone over well.

When I arrive home, my heartbeat is returning to normal and the panic attack is fading. I feel a sting of remorse of what I just did to Peeta, but I was stupid to think that I could just let go of my rules so easily. I can’t start a real relationship with someone. I can’t fall in love. What if he broke my heart? What if something happened to him? No, I can’t handle that, I just can’t. Then why do I feel so horrible right now? Why do I feel like I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life?

I need to call Johanna, she is always there for me when I need her, and boy do I need her now.

“Oh my gosh, it’s like eight in the morning…why are you calling me so early?”

Oh, I forgot that it was so early. “Umm…I have a problem and I need your help.”

I hear her curse under her breath. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you just come over? It will be easier than discussing this on the phone…”

Johanna sighs. “Of course, give me a few minutes and I’ll be over.”

 

After we hang up, I take a quick shower and put on some clean clothes. My body calms down, but my mind is still racing. I’ve never been this upset about fucking a guy and then having him leave, but this time, when I left; it is really hitting me hard.

My doorbell rings and I rush over to greet Johanna.

Only it isn’t Johanna who is at my door, it’s Peeta.

He’s just standing there, staring at me with some unreadable emotion in his deep blue eyes. 

“Peeta, I umm…”

He gives me a harsh look and I take a step back away from him. “You what, Katniss?”

I open my mouth to answer him, but no words come out. Why is he here? Why?

Peeta’s harsh look turns sad and he sighs, bringing his hand up to smooth his unruly hair. “Why did you leave?”

I have to be strong. I can’t be drawn in by his beautiful eyes and amazing lips. I can’t be swayed by his usual sweet demeanor and charm. “I’m sorry, I really am.”

He shakes his head and chews on his bottom lip. “But?”

My shoulders slump. “But…I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.”

“You can’t what? Be in a relationship with me?”

I nod, too afraid to do anything else. I can’t even meet his eyes right now.

“Look at me.”

I raise my eyes to meet his and see the twin emotions of anger and sadness on his face. He is upset, really upset and I did this to him. See? That is why relationships are bad; it is too easy for someone to get hurt that way. “I’m sorry Peeta. I never meant to hurt you.”

He throws his hands up in the air in frustration. “You’re a real piece of work, do you know that? I took a chance on you because I thought you were a good person. A little misguided maybe, but genuine and good. I guess I was wrong.”

He is tearing me apart with his words, but there is no way I can say what he wants me to say. I can’t take it back now. “Peeta…”

He holds up his hand. “Save it. I hope you had a good time last night, another notch in your bedpost, right?”

I don’t say anything; there is nothing I can say. I feel low, like the most terrible person in the world.

“So, this is it then? You aren’t going to defend yourself or try to fight for me?”

I hang my head, too ashamed to answer him.

“Fine, I see how it is. Have a good life Katniss…” Peeta stalks off of my porch, angrier than I have ever seen him. As he is leaving, Johanna arrives. He walks past her without a word and slams his car door, taking off in a hurry.

Johanna is confused, I can tell. “Umm…do you want to explain what just happened?”

I break down in front of my friend. A few tears slip down my cheeks as I tell her what happened last night and then this morning. She leads me into my house and sits next to me on my sofa while she listens to the details.

“Katniss, that’s why you made your rules in the first place! When you put yourself out there, there is always the possibility that you will get hurt. I think that your mind and body were trying to tell you that you can’t handle a relationship right now. That’s probably why you had a panic attack.”

I nod. Her words make sense to me. “I feel really bad about what I did to him though. He’s such a nice guy; I shouldn’t have led him on like that.”

Johanna slides closer to me and wraps her arm around my shoulder to comfort me. “Look, you are doing him a favor in the long run, okay? Imagine if you tried to actually have a relationship with him. Eventually you would have come to your senses and broken his heart, but since you two were only dating a short period of time, it lessens the blow. Now he can go find some girl who will let him love her, and not wake up the next morning in a panic.”

I know that my friend is only trying to help me, but her words are having the opposite effect. I don’t want to think about Peeta with another girl, and I still feel bad about what I did to him.

Jo continues to try to calm me down, and eventually my mind stops racing. But I still can’t shake the feeling that I will always regret what I had done.


	12. Revelations

My life goes back to normal after a few days. Well, as normal as it has ever been. I still feel bad for what I did to Peeta, but I’m just not meant to be in a relationship, I just can’t do it. There were several times these past few days where I was so close to picking up the phone and calling or texting him, but I really can’t see him ever forgiving me, and I don’t blame him.

Instead, I focus myself on my work and my family once again. Prim tried to ask me about Peeta a few times, but I told her that it didn’t work out. I didn’t exactly mention that I screwed up the whole thing, just that we decided to go our separate ways.

 

I’m coming home from work one day when my old urges start to return to me. I know that I should really give up the whole ‘fuck random guys’ thing, but old habits die hard, and a girl’s got needs. As soon as I pull into my driveway, I pull out my cell phone and search through my contacts for a guy I can have ‘entertain’ me for the night.

None of them really seem like viable options other than Cato, so I text him.

Hey sexy…want to get together tonight?

I get out of my car and back inside before I hear a response from him.

I’m busy tonight. Some other time?

Fuck. Cato was my only option for tonight. Oh well, I guess it’s just me and my fingers for the night.

Okay, sure.  
I toss my phone onto the kitchen countertop and sigh. I really don’t feel like being alone tonight, but since sex isn’t an option, maybe Johanna will go out somewhere with me.

I pick my phone back up and call her.

“What’s up?”

“Want to go out and grab a bite to eat with me? We can try that new place up on Eight Street.”

Jo pauses for a moment before answering me. “Yeah, I’m free. Meet you there at seven?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

 

I take a quick shower and change my clothes before going out to meet Johanna. I thought it would take me about fifteen minutes to get to the restaurant, but it ends up only being about seven minutes away. I decide to head in and grab a table for us while I wait.

As I look up at the glowing neon sign announcing the name of the restaurant, ‘Xhilarate’ I almost believe that I am about to walk into a strip club and not a restaurant. However, once I walk in, I can see that the place is actually pretty nice. It has a modern vibe to it, but there isn’t a stripper pole in sight.

I am still taking in all of the colorful lights and decorations when my eyes fall on a familiar face at one of the table near the entrance. His blond hair is gelled and styled to the side, not really a look I’ve ever seen on him, but I know it’s him all the same.

I waltz over to his table. He is alone and hasn’t noticed me yet, so I am able to sneak up on him a bit.

“Katniss! What are you doing here?”

I smile wryly at him. He seems uncomfortable and I can’t imagine why. “Nice to see you too, Cato.”

Cato fidgets in his seat a bit. “I…I’m just a little surprised to see you, that’s all.”

I run my fingertips across his hair, which is almost hard from the gel. “Nice hairdo, do you…”

The rest of my sentence trails off as a petite brunette approaches the table. Her eyes are glaring daggers at me as she sits down across from Cato. “Who is this?”

Cato coughs and sputters, obviously uncomfortable and faltering for a good answer. “Oh…umm, this is Katniss. She’s uh…a friend from college!” He pats me awkwardly on the back and I know he is silently begging me to play along with him. 

So I do. I stick my hand out towards the brunette and give her my best toothy grin. “Nice to meet you!”

She shakes my hand quickly, and then drops it as if it were on fire. “I’m Clove, Cato’s fiancée.”

Fiancée? Fiancée? Something snaps in my mind. If Clove is his fiancée, then that means she was probably at least dating him when he fucked me. Oh my gosh, he cheated on her! With me! 

I take a deep breath and play along some more. “Oh? How long have you two been together?”

Clove smiles and places her hand (with a very large diamond ring), on Cato’s. “We’ve been dating for two years and he proposed about three months ago.”

I take a glance back at Cato, whose face has turned an interesting shade of red. “Is that so? Well, congratulations to the two of you, I must be going now.”

I don’t wait for them to say anything else to me. I get up and exit the restaurant and wait outside for Johanna. I hope she doesn’t mind going somewhere else to eat, because the sight of that cheating, lying scumbag might make me sick. I know I am not one for morals in some areas, but there are some things that even I won’t do. I always made sure that the guys I slept with have been single. Apparently, they haven’t all been honest with me in that department.

When Jo finally arrives, I convince her to come with me to another place to eat. When I tell her about Cato and his fiancée, she doesn’t seem too surprised.

“You don’t exactly sleep with the ‘golden boys’, well except for Peeta. I’m not sure why it surprises you that one of them was using you as the other woman.”

I don’t really know why, but the thought of me being ‘the other woman’ kind of upsets me. I just want no strings attached sex, not to be someone’s mistress. Maybe I need to rethink the way I live my life.

 

It’s about two weeks later when my life turns upside down. It’s Saturday morning and I’m visiting Prim and my mother as usual. Mom has made my favorite breakfast, blueberry pancakes and bacon, and I can’t wait to dig in.

The pancakes are perfect, fluffy and warm, and delicious, but when I get about halfway done with them, my stomach rebels.

I make it to the bathroom just in time to throw up all of my breakfast. The nausea was so sudden I’m surprised I made it.

I’m still dry heaving into the toilet when Prim comes to check up on me. “Are you okay?”

I nod and stand up, wiping my mouth off and splashing my face with cold water from the sink. “Yeah, I must have a stomach bug or something. I’ll be fine.”

Prim eyes me warily. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

I shake my head slowly. “No, of course not! You know I’ve been on birth control for years now.”

“Yeah, that’s right. You always use condoms too, don’t you?”

I roll my eyes at her. “Come on Prim, I really don’t want to have this conversation with you. Yes, I’ve always used a condom…” My voice trails off as I recall that Peeta and I did not actually use a condom. “Umm, actually I didn’t use one with Peeta, but I’m on birth control! It must just be a stomach bug.”

Prim is silent for a second, but then her blue eyes widen considerably. “Oh my gosh! You…you were on antibiotics!”

I really don’t know what she is getting at. “Yeah, I was. So what?”

“You don’t know? The doctor didn’t tell you?” She is pacing across the bathroom floor by this point, not to mention making me nervous as hell.

“I don’t know anything, just tell me already!”

Prim sits me down on the toilet seat and keeps her hand on my shoulder. “Certain antibiotics can cause birth control to be less effective when taken together.”

All of the air whooshes out of my lungs. I had no idea, no fucking idea that that was possible. Could I really be pregnant? “N…no, this can’t be happening to me!”

“Are you late for your period?”

I shut my eyes and try to think of when my last period was. Usually, I can keep good track of it, so I think back and remember that I was supposed to start on the twentieth, five days ago. “Shit! It was supposed to be five days ago!” 

Prim pulls me up and embraces me gently. “It’s okay Katniss, it could just be stress. I mean, you should probably just take a pregnancy test and be done with it.”

I don’t know how she can be so calm about it! My life is ruined if I’m pregnant! “I…I have to leave. Tell mom I got sick; don’t mention that I might be pregnant.”

Prim swears she won’t say a word.

I am out of the house and off to the drugstore in an instant. I need to know if I’m pregnant, and I need to know now.


	13. Decisions

I rush down the block to the nearest drugstore and straight to the ‘family planning’ section. Family planning my ass…I was never planning on starting a family, I have Prim and my mother and that’s good enough for me.

I never knew that there were so many different pregnancy tests and I never paid any attention to their commercials before, so I just grab three at random and make my way to the register.

The cashier eyes me warily as she rings out my purchase. I can’t seem to get myself to meet her gaze, but I can feel her eyes staring at me. I really hope I don’t know her from somewhere; no one needs to know about this pregnancy scare.

After the three tests are bagged, I bolt out of the store and back to my house. My hands shake as I open the tests one by one and read the instructions. This can’t be happening to me, it just can’t. How is it that I didn’t know that antibiotics can interfere with birth control? Why didn’t the doctor or pharmacist warn me about this?

I take the tests and let them sit for the allotted amount of time. Those few minutes are the longest few minutes of my life. I try to imagine myself as pregnant and carrying around the child of a man who hates my guts. I imagine all of the odd stares I’ll get and even worse, the congratulations, and also the infamous, ‘who is the father?’

When the time is up, I walk over to the tests, my entire body shaking by this point.

I look down. A plus sign, a ‘yes’, and a ‘pregnant’ look back up at me. 

No, it can’t be true, this can’t happen to me! This isn’t what my life is supposed to end up like! No children, no baby daddy, none of it!

A tear slips down my face and lands on the plus sign of the first test. Disgusted with myself, I throw the tests away and promptly throw up again.

The tears come down harder. I don’t know what I am supposed to do next. I suppose I should call Prim and maybe Johanna, but all I want to do right now is curl up into a ball and die.

I rinse my mouth out and go to lie down in my bed before deciding what to do. I stare at the ceiling fan as my tears blur my vision. My hand goes down and rests on my abdomen, right where my baby is growing inside of me.

“Why? Why is this happening to me? Why are you here?”

It’s not like I expected the fetus to answer me or anything, but I’m still disturbed by the silence in my room right now.

I pick up my cell phone and call my sister. I’m sure she’s beside herself wondering about me by now.

“Katniss?”

“Prim?” My voice is wavering, the tears still slipping down my cheeks, one by one, and landing on my bedspread.

“Well?”

A sob escapes me. “I’m pregnant.”

My little sister is silent for a moment before she sighs heavily. “Oh Katniss, what are you going to do?”

What am I going to do? That’s the whole reason I called her! She is supposed to help me out on this! “I…I don’t know.”

“Well, I mean…are you going to keep it? Give it up for adoption? Get an abortion?”

I suck in a sharp breath of air. I hadn’t even considered the last two options. I could never kill the baby; it’s not really its fault that I’m a screw up. Could I give it up for adoption? Let someone else raise it and forget the whole thing ever happened? “I’m not getting an abortion. I don’t know about giving it up for adoption yet.”

Prim is silent again. I know that she will probably prefer me to keep it, to let her play the doting aunt, but I’m just not sure yet. “When are you going to tell Peeta?”

Peeta. Peeta fucking Mellark. The entire reason I’m in this mess in the first place. My tears are dry by now, and anger has replaced them. Why did I let him have sex with me without a condom? He should have been more prepared! He should have told me no! I sigh and bury my face in my hands. I know that it isn’t really his fault, but blaming him at least makes me feel a little bit better.   
“I’m not telling Peeta about the baby.”

“What?!” Prim is genuinely shocked, I can tell.

I pound my fist into my feather pillow in frustration. “I’m not telling Peeta that I’m pregnant.” I mean, why should I? He made it perfectly clear that he wants nothing to do with me anymore. Why should I tell him that our illegitimate love child is currently incubating in my womb?

“Why the hell not?”

“He hates me Prim. I know I said that we just went our different ways, but it wasn’t quite like that…”

I hear her groan on the other end of the line. “You ran, didn’t you?”

How is it that she knows me so well? “I tried! I really tried! But after we slept together, I had a panic attack and I just had to leave!”

“So let me guess, he chased after you and you told him the truth. And now you two aren’t speaking.”

I curl myself back into a ball. “Yes. He knows that I’ve slept around, he will probably question whether or not it is even his.”

“You still have to tell him. He’s the father and he has the right to know.”

I promise my sister that I will at least think about it, but I really don’t know if Peeta should ever find out.

 

My doctor confirms that I am pregnant and recommends a good obstetrician in the area. My first real appointment is in a few weeks.

Meanwhile, I keep myself busy at my job and with my family. I haven’t told my mother or Johanna about the baby yet. My mom is completely clueless, but I know Johanna will figure something out when I refuse to drink any alcohol at the bar with her.

So far, I’ve been able to see her without going to a club or bar, but she is bound to notice my strange behavior soon.

I find myself checking my belly daily for any signs of growth, even though I know that it will take a little while for me to show.

When my first prenatal appointment arrives, I’m nervous. I don’t know what to expect at all, or even when my due date will be. I tried doing the math, but I know it is a bit more complicated than it seems.

The waiting room is full of expectant mothers, most of which have their husband or boyfriend sitting right beside them holding their hand. Although I am not the only woman here by herself, I am certainly in the minority.

A few of the mothers look like they could pop at any time. They all hold their bellies and glow in happiness at the prospect of meeting their child soon. I wish I could be that happy about having a baby.

I have been waiting for about ten minutes when another young woman comes in and sits down next to me. She has beautiful chestnut hair and sparkling green eyes and looks to be at least six months pregnant.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you here before, first visit?”

I’m surprised that this girl is speaking to me at first, so I blink at her in confusion for a moment before recovering. “Oh…yes, yes it is.”

She nods and smiles at me. “I’m Annie, due in about three and a half months.”

Annie seems friendly enough, so I decide that talking to her will be a nice way to pass the time. “I’m Katniss, and I’m not one hundred percent sure when I’m due yet.”

She giggles. “Nice to meet you. I’m guessing this is your first child?”

“Yeah, I really have no idea what I am doing.”

She pats my hand. “It takes a little getting used to. Is the father here with you?” Annie looks around the room, obviously expecting some guy to appear out of nowhere. 

This is getting awkward now. She seems too nice to want to deal with my ‘baby daddy’ issues, so I tell a little white lie. “No, he is out of town on a business trip.”

She gives me a sad look. “Yeah, my husband Finnick usually comes with me, but he had a meeting he couldn’t get out of today.”

 

Before our conversation can steer into any more danger, a lady pops her head out and calls my name.

I wave goodbye to Annie and follow the lady into an examining room.

 

The appointment takes much longer than I had originally thought it would. The doctor, a smiling woman in her mid-forties, asks me so many questions that by the time the actual examination takes place, my mind is spinning.

When she asks me about the baby’s father, I tell the same lie that I told Annie. The doctor simply nods and continues her work.

After asking me about my last period and taking an ultrasound picture, she determines me to be close to eight weeks along and puts my due date at December twenty-eighth. 

Before I can leave, she presses a small picture from the ultrasound in my hand and congratulates me.

 

There is a water main break that must have occurred sometime during my appointment and it is blocking my route back home.

Instead, I’m forced to take a detour that takes me directly past Peeta’s bakery. I run my finger across the small, almost unnoticeable mark on the ultrasound that is my baby and sigh. Peeta does deserve to at least know that he is going to be a father. Even if he wants nothing to do with me or the baby, he should at least know.

I pull into the parking lot and notice that Peeta’s car is indeed there. I take a deep breath and walk into the front door.

A bubbly looking blonde greets me at the counter. Her name tag says ‘Delly’. 

“Can I help you with something?”

She gives me a bright smile, but I can’t return it. “Can I speak to the owner please?”

The smile drops off of her face in an instant. “Yeah, hang on a second.”

Delly makes her way towards the back of the building and into the ‘employees only’ door. A few minutes later, a ruffled looking Peeta comes out.

Upon noticing me, he halts in his footsteps. I half expect him to turn on his heel and head back, but he doesn’t. He takes a deep breath and walks right up to me.

“What can I do for you?”

I don’t miss the coldness in his voice and in his crystal blue eyes, and I know that I am going to have a difficult time telling him about the baby. “I need to tell you something.” I sneak a glance at Delly before I continue. “In private.”

Peeta folds his arms across his chest. “Whatever it is, you can say it here.”

I shake my head. “Look, this is important. Can I please speak with you alone?”

Finally he relents. “Let’s go back to my office.”

I follow him into the back. His office is a small room with just a desk, a chair, and some filing cabinets in it.

Peeta circles around me and crosses his arms again. “Okay, out with it.”

My mouth goes dry and I’m not sure I can do this after all. I almost leave, but I know that this will probably be my best chance at telling him. 

I shuffle around in my purse and find the ultrasound picture. I carefully extract it and hand it over to Peeta.

“What the hell is this?”

I take an involuntary step back; he looks angry, very angry.

I somehow manage to breathe in and find the courage to say my next words. “That’s your baby. Our baby.”


	14. Announcements

Peeta’s face drains of color at my announcement. He stumbles over and almost falls into his chair at the desk.

“You’re…you’re joking, right?”

I shake my head at him. “No, I’m not joking. I’m pregnant and it’s yours.”

Peeta drops the ultrasound picture like it’s on fire and it slides across his desk. His pale face then begins to turn bright red…in anger. “How do you know it’s mine? Don’t you have like ten or so other guys would could possibly be the father?”

I flinch at his harsh words, but I expected this. “No, from the time of my last period until now, you are the only guy I’ve slept with.”

He shakes his head and then buries it in his hands. “You said you were on birth control!”

I sigh and take a deep breath. I’m trying to remain calm, but Peeta is quickly trying my patience. “Yes, and I was. However, I didn’t know that if you take antibiotics and birth control at the same time, the effectiveness of the birth control decreases.”

Peeta blinks his blue eyes at me. “The doctor didn’t tell you?”

I shake my head. “No, I had no idea.”

He sighs deeply and a full minute passes before he says anything else. “Well, what are you going to do about it?”  
Is he asking if I’m going to get an abortion? He better not expect me to because that is definitely not on the agenda. It’s not like I’m going to force him to see our child or marry me or anything, I just thought he should be aware of the situation. “I’m…I’m keeping it. It’s not like I expect you to marry me now. You don’t ever have to see me or the baby ever again if that’s what you want. I just thought that you deserved to know that you are going to be a father.”

He nods and then gets up from his chair. “I need some time to uh…think things through. Can you see yourself out?”

That’s it? He isn’t going to scream at me or insist I get rid of the baby? He isn’t going to say or do anything other than that he will ‘think things through?’

Well whatever, like I said, he doesn’t ever have to see me again, I just thought he should know. “Yeah, I’ll see myself out.”

With that said, I walk out of his office and back into the bakery area. Delly is there and I can tell by the look on her face that she must have overheard us speaking. I rush past her so she can’t say anything to me, making my way swiftly back to my car.

Next, I decide that it is time to tell Johanna the news. I might as well, right? Why not get all of the uncomfortable announcements done in one day?

I call her and tell her to meet me at my house in ten minutes.

 

She is already there, standing on my front porch when I arrive. The look on her face tells me that she is worried about me.

“Let’s go inside.”

Jo nods and follows me into my living room. “You might want to sit down.”

“You’re scaring me Katniss. What’s wrong?” She sits down on my sofa and I sit across from her, preparing myself to tell her the news.

Again, my mouth refuses to form the words, so I take out the ultrasound picture and hand it to her.

She gasps in shock and then turns to me warily. “This is a picture of a tumor or something…right? Right?”

I shake my head at her. “No, not a tumor. I’m pregnant.”

Jo’s arms are around me in an instant. “Oh Katniss, I’m so sorry. Is it Peeta’s?”

I nod as the tears start streaming down my face. “Yes, it’s his.”

“Did you tell him?”

“Yes, I just did. He wasn’t too happy about it. He said he needed time to think things through.”

Johanna scowls. “That bastard is probably looking for a way to get out of paying child support or something.”

I put up my hands to stop her. “No. I don’t care about that. I don’t need his money out of pity, because that’s all it would ever be. I’ll find a way to take care of the baby myself.”

“You sure are stubborn. I guess this means no more drinks at the bar and random men in your bed?”

I shake my head at her. “Yeah, that won’t be happening anymore. Unfortunately my life is going to be a lot different now, I just have to get used to it.”

 

Jo stays for a while and comforts me. After she leaves I know that I need to tell one more person about my pregnancy. 

It’s approaching dinner time by now, so I stop by a local Chinese restaurant and pick up some takeout on my way to my mom’s house.

Telling her will be weird. She hasn’t seen me with an actual boyfriend since Gale, and whenever she asks, I always tell her that I just don’t have time for a relationship. Now, she will want to know exactly who the father is and how it is that I have no time for a relationship but I still managed to get pregnant.

When I arrive, Prim answers the door. “Hey, what did you bring?”

I lift the bag in my hand. “Chinese. Mom’s home right?”

My sister bites her lip. “Oh…you’re going to tell her, aren’t you?”

I nod and make my way into the house, placing the food on the kitchen counter. “Yeah, I am.”

“Good luck with that.”

I snort at her. “Yeah…thanks.”

 

Mom seems to be in a good mood tonight, so I’m hoping that she will take the news well. 

I wait until we are halfway through our chicken, vegetables, and noodles before I bring it up.

“So Mom…umm, I have something to tell you.”

She looks up from her meal and smiles at me. “What is it?”

I close my eyes and blurt it out. “I’m pregnant.”

Her fork clatters to the table and she stares at me in confusion. “You’re pregnant?”

I nod at her, afraid of what she will say next.

I hear the sound of a chair being scooted away from the table and then her arms are around me, holding me tight. “Oh honey! I’m so happy for you! So, I guess this means you have a boyfriend now? Who is he? What’s his name?”

I freeze. I knew this was going to end badly. 

Slowly, I extract myself from her arms. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Her blue eyes look at me in confusion. “But…”

“It was just some guy she fucked.” 

I look at Prim in shock. “Prim!” I can’t believe she would say something like that to our own mother.

She shrugs. “What? It’s the truth! Yeah, sorry mom, but Katniss doesn’t have a boyfriend, just a guy she slept with.”

My mother looks at me in horror. “Is this true? Wait…do you even know who the father is?”

This is not happening to me. I will just close my eyes and then wake up in my bed and this whole day will have never happened.

I screw my eyes shut, count to ten, and then open them again. Nope, my mother and sister are still there staring at me. “Yes I know who the father is! He’s…he’s just not my boyfriend.”

My mother goes back over to her chair and sits down. “Well, whatever the case may be, I’m excited to be a grandmother. When are you due?”

Okay, I know my mom has issues, but this sudden calmness scares me. “Umm…December twenty-eighth. So, you’re okay with this?”

She nods and chews her food before answering me. “Of course. There is no greater joy in this world than that of becoming a mother.”

Well, I don’t know about that, but I guess I get to find out soon enough.


	15. New Plans

It’s a few days later and I still haven’t heard anything from Peeta. I tried to call him once, but he never answered or returned my call. Oh well, I did tell him that he didn’t need to see me or the baby, I just would have liked for him to have told me something about his intentions instead of just ignoring me.

Prim and my mom are over my house, helping me clean out my spare bedroom. It’s still several months before the baby is due, but the two of them are just so excited that I decided to let them help me get the baby’s future bedroom cleared out, at the very least.

“You sure do have a lot of junk in here,” Prim states as she takes another box of my old clothes and sorts through it.

I roll my eyes at her. “Yeah, well I was never one to have much fashion sense. We can give most of those things away to a charity center.”

My sister nods and closes up the box, labeling it with a black marker. “I can’t wait to pick out some cute maternity wear clothes for you, not mention adorable little outfits for the baby!”

Her enthusiasm is almost too much for to take at times. I mean cute maternity clothes? As if clothes that will make me look like a beached whale could ever be considered cute. By how excited she is for the baby, you’d think that she is the one expecting, not her poor, totally unprepared sister. “There’s no rush Prim, settle down.”

She opens her mouth to say something else, but my doorbell rings, giving me the opportunity to escape her craziness. 

I’m not expecting anyone today, but that doesn’t mean that Jo or one of my co-workers didn’t decide to come by and see me. I yank the door open and my breath catches in my throat. 

It’s Peeta.  
When he sees me he graces me with a little half-smile and holds up a bag. “Hi, can I umm…come in?”

I stare at him in disbelief. Why is he here? If he wanted to talk to me or something, why couldn’t he just call me like any other normal human being? I don’t answer him. I’m not sure I want him in my house with Prim and my mother here. It would just be way too awkward to have to make introductions.

“Look, why don’t you tell me what you want and then I’ll decide if you can come in.”

He flinches and shuffles his feet awkwardly. “I bought you a book,” Peeta offers the bag in his hand.

I take it from him and glance inside to see the title. What to Expect When You’re Expecting peers up at me. “Umm…thanks.”

“You’re welcome. I…I’ve decided what I want to do.”

I raise my eyebrow at him. “Oh, now you’ve decided? After I called you with no answer?”

His clear blue eyes regard me quizzically. “I never got your call. It must have been after my phone broke. I had to get a new one with a new number, and since I lost all of my contacts, I decided to come see you in person.”

Oh, I guess that it explains him not responding to me. The only thing I want to know now is what exactly his decision is. “Well, here I am. What have you decided?”

The little half-smile returns, making his eyes sparkle, just a bit. “I’d really like to be in your life, and the baby’s life. I…I don’t think I’m quite ready to forgive you, but you’re carrying my child, and I’ll be there for you.”

His words are sincere, I can tell. He really does want to help me. Now, I’m not naïve enough to think that we will just magically fall in love and get married now that we are having a baby together, but it will be nice to have him around, especially once the baby is born. 

I let my lips quirk up in a smile. “Thank you Peeta. I really appreciate it. Thank you for the book as well, it will definitely come in handy.”

He nods and looks back down at his feet, obviously still a bit uncomfortable in my presence. I would invite him in, but like I said, I don’t think I can deal with the awkwardness of introducing him to Prim and my mother just yet. That time will come soon enough as it is.

“Look, I would invite you in, but my family is here to help me clear out my spare bedroom right now and I’d rather postpone awkward introductions until a later date, if that’s okay with you.”

Peeta raises an eyebrow at me and chuckles lightly. “Oh? Are you embarrassed by me or something?”

The lilt in his voice says he is kidding with me, but I can’t help the scowl that appears on my face at his words. “No, not by you, but by our situation. My mother is finally coming out of her depression due to her becoming a grandmother soon, and she can get…well, a bit excitable at times. Introducing the two of you without giving her the chance to cook for you or dress in something nice might break her fragile balance.”

Okay, so maybe I’m stretching the truth just a little bit with this, but I really can’t handle introductions right now, I just can’t.

“Umm…okay. Do you think I could come to your next doctor’s appointment though?”

Wow, he really is trying here. “Yeah, that would be okay. My next appointment is in a week, do you want to meet me there?”

Peeta shakes his head. “No, I’ll pick you up. What time is it?”

“Three o’clock.”

He nods. “Okay, I’ll be here at two forty-five to pick you up. Uh…see you then I guess.”

I give him an awkward wave. “Yeah, okay. Bye.”

As I walk back to the spare room where my sister and mother are waiting for me, I can’t help but to be relieved that Peeta is going to be there for the baby. As much as I like to be independent and do things my way, I really don’t want my child to grow up without a father.

“Who was at the door?” Prim eyes me curiously as I enter the room.

I shrug. “Some delivery man had the wrong address and proceeded to argue with me about it.”

“Why would he argue with you? And for so long?”

Damn it! Why can’t she just leave it be? “I don’t know Prim, he just did. Now, let’s get back to work.”

My sister rolls her eyes at me and we go back to our earlier routine.

I’m really not sure how my pregnancy is going to affect my relationship with Peeta. Things were extremely awkward between us when he was just here, but I really hope that we can work something out that will be best for the two of us, plus the baby.

I rub my hand gently over my abdomen, which I know will begin to fill out soon because I’m so slender. “Everything is going to be okay little one; mommy and daddy will take good care of you.”


	16. Introductions

The day of my next appointment comes all too soon. I wait for Peeta to pick me up, nervously picking at my fingernails to pass the time.

As soon as he arrives, I gather myself and head to his car. 

“Hey Katniss, how are you feeling?”

“Bad morning sickness earlier, but I’m okay right now.”

Peeta gives me a brief smile and then turns to put the car into drive. “Will they give you another ultrasound today?”

“Umm…I think so. Why?”

He drums his fingers on the steering wheel as we come to a stop at a traffic light. Turning his head slightly to face me, he gives an almost bashful smile. “I wanted a copy for myself. None of my friends believe that I’m going to be a daddy.”

They way he says ‘daddy’ pulls at my heart. He sounds almost proud, almost to the point of excitement. I’m trying to accept my imminent motherhood myself, but it still scares the shit out of me. Seeing Peeta and the way he is currently acting about the situation heightens my anxiety. Not that I want him to be angry about it, I’m just a bit unnerved at his sudden excitement.

“Oh, yeah…we can ask them to print you out a copy of it if you want.”

Peeta nods and steps on the gas once the light turns green. We reach the doctor’s office not too much later and he accompanies me inside.

The waiting room is about halfway full today, and after checking in with the receptionist, I find two empty seats next to each other and lead Peeta over to them.

We sit down and I half expect him to whip out his phone and ignore me until my name is called. However, to my surprise, he turns to me and starts talking.

“Are you sure you are okay with me being here? I can always just wait here while you go in for your check up if you want.”

I raise my eyebrow at him. “You wanted to come, change your mind or something?”

He shakes his head, his unruly hair falls across his eyes. “No, I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

I sigh and fiddle with my braid. “You’re the father. Besides, you’ve seen it all before, I’m not worried about modesty at this point.”

Peeta chuckles lightly.

 

A few minutes go by in silence before I am finally called back. Once we are waiting for the doctor in the examination room, I do start to feel a bit uncomfortable.

It isn’t because of Peeta being here with me though; it’s because of all of the pictures of growing fetuses and other such educational charts on the walls around us. I begin to feel panic as I think of how there is a baby growing inside of me at this very moment. A baby that will make me as big as a house and cause me terrible pain during childbirth. A baby that will change my life forever.

Peeta comes over and puts his arm around my shoulder. “You’re shaking. Are you okay?”

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, just a bit overwhelmed. I still can’t get used to the idea that I’m going to be a mother.”

“I know what you mean. I’ve always wanted to be a father, but this wasn’t exactly how I planned on it occurring. I’m nervous too.”

I appreciate Peeta’s attempts at comforting me and I feel sort of bad that he doesn’t get to have a child on his own terms. I’m sure he will make a great father, but our poor baby will never know what it is like to have his or her parents married and together. We will always be a broken family. 

The doctor comes in and seems a bit surprised to see Peeta sitting in the chair by the examination table. “Hello Katniss.” She nods in my direction and then turns to Peeta. “Hello, you must be the father.”

He gets up from the chair and shakes the doctor’s hand. “Yes, I am. Peeta Mellark.”

I flinch, knowing that the doctor will pick up the difference in names. “Oh…you’re not her husband?”

Peeta frowns and shakes his head. “No.”

The doctor blushes. “I’m sorry, I just assumed…”

She trails off for a moment before starting the exam.

 

Some time later, two ultrasound pictures of our baby are printed and we are on our way out.

Peeta apologizes for the awkwardness in the exam room, but I wave him off. “It’s okay; it was bound to happen eventually.”

“Speaking of awkward introductions, am I going to meet your family any time soon?”

I think for a moment, trying to figure out the best time for him to accompany me to dinner. I am planning on going later on this evening, but I need to make sure mother is prepared before bringing Peeta along with me. “Uh, let me call my mom and see if she minds if you come over tonight. If that’s okay with you.”

He runs his hand through his golden locks. “Oh wow…yeah I guess if it’s okay with your mom then I’m down for that.”

I give a quick call to my mother and tell her to expect a special guest to accompany me tonight at dinner. She readily agrees and we are set.

 

Later on, as Peeta and I approach my mom’s house, my anxiety sky rockets. I hate awkward introductions. I mean, what do I even say? ‘Hey mom, hey Prim, I want you to meet my baby daddy. No, we aren’t dating or anything; he’s just the guy I fucked that got me into my current situation here.’

“Peeta, I need to give you a little warning about my mother.”

“Umm..okay.” He looks at me, obviously taken aback by my words.

“Ever since my father died several years ago, my mother has been in a deep state of depression. She was finally able to get back to work recently and has been doing a lot better. When I told her about the baby, that was the first time that I saw her truly happy in years. She will surely fawn all over you, so just be prepared.”

Peeta nods and pats my back to comfort me. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m glad your mother is doing a bit better now.”

I knock tentatively on the door, dreading the upcoming introductions.

When I hear it creak open and see Prim’s blonde head poke out, I give her a forced smile.

“Hey Prim.”

She grins at me, and then takes in the sight of Peeta beside me. “Oh…is this…?”

“Yes,” I interrupt her. 

Her blue eyes widen almost comically. “Oh, so you’re the guy that knocked up my sister.”

I could strangle her right now, I really could. Peeta coughs uncomfortably, and then steps out in front of me to shake Prim’s hand. “Yeah, my name is Peeta Mellark, nice to meet you.”

Prim shakes his hand and then turns back to me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were bringing him with you?”

I shake my head at my sister. “He happens to be standing right here; stop being rude. I decided that it is time to get these damn awkward introductions over with.”

“Sorry Peeta.”

“It’s okay Prim,” he states, giving her a small smile.

Prim finally lets us inside and I lead Peeta to the dining room, where my sister said mom was setting the table.

She is bent over placing silverware on cloth napkins when we walk into the room.

“Mom?”

She turns and smiles at me, but then her gaze rakes over Peeta and the smile falls from her face. “Katniss, I thought when you said you were bringing a guest, that you meant Johanna.”

I shut my eyes and sigh. I should have told me mother about Peeta before bringing him over. “I’m sorry, I should have been clearer.”

She shakes her head and comes over to hug me and then pat my belly. “It’s okay dear. Care to introduce me to your boyfriend here?’

“Oh, he’s not…”

Peeta interrupts me by sticking out his hand. “I’m Peeta, Peeta Mellark.”

My mom shakes his hand and looks him over, finally smiling at him when she is finished. “Pleasure to meet you Peeta.”

Mom made lasagna for dinner and once all of our plates are piled up high with food, the questions begin.

Prim gives Peeta a devilish look from across the table. “So Peeta, how do you feel about becoming a father?”

I choke on the bite of lasagna in my mouth and have to cough to clear my throat.

Peeta looks uncomfortable himself, nervously picking at his food. “Well, it was a bit of a surprise, but I’m happy about it now.”

My mother’s jaw drops open. “Wait a second here. Katniss, this is the baby’s father?”

Oh fuck, and so it begins…

“Yes, Peeta is the baby’s father.”

Mom looks surprised. “Oh, I thought that you said that the baby’s father was just a one night stand and that this young man was your new boyfriend.”

Prim bursts out laughing and I glare at her from across the table. Peeta’s face is now a bright shade of red. He probably wishes he could disappear right about now.

Too my great surprise, Peeta straightens himself out, takes my hand and begins to speak. “Katniss and I were dating before but then went our separate ways. Once we found out she was pregnant, we decided it was best if the baby was raised by the both of us.”

That man does have a way with words. He made our awkward situation into something not quite as bad. 

My mother nods and then smiles. “Oh okay. I’m glad to hear that the baby will be taken care of and have a loving mother and father.”

Mom goes on to ask Peeta about his own family and his work before switching to asking if we had any baby names picked out yet.

“We will look at names later, give us some time Mom.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just so excited to be a grandmother! Oh, and Peeta here is just so handsome! The baby will be simply adorable!”

“Yeah, thanks Mom.”

Later on, on the drive back to my place, Peeta explains his earlier words to my mother. “I’m sorry I jumped in earlier, but I figured that I would clean up what really happened between us to save you from even more awkwardness.”

“Thanks Peeta. I’m sorry about my sister. She really is a great person; she is just a bit mischievous at times.”

Peeta pulls up to my house to drop me off and shuts off the engine. “So, maybe we can get together soon and discuss some of the logistics of the things to come. And according to your mother, we need to talk about names as well.”

I nod in agreement. “Okay, just give me a call and we can get together.”

We say goodnight and I get out of the car and begin to walk towards my house. At the last moment, I look back to see Peeta staring back at me…and smiling.


	17. Questions

As the weeks go by, I become more and more accepting of the child growing inside of me. I’m still nervous as hell about becoming a mother, and how I am going to work out any custody issues with Peeta. I know that we will both be amiable towards each other, but I can’t exactly see the three of us all living together under one roof. We were going to have to decide who the baby would stay with on what days.

We met up a few times together for appointments and also to discuss baby names. So far we haven’t been able to agree on any. Peeta seems to want a more traditional name for the baby (unlike either of our names), where I would like a more unique name. We haven’t agreed on any of the names either of us has picked out thus far.

My relationship with Peeta is so odd now. We see each other once a week or so, and we are friendly towards one another, but there is still a sense of awkwardness between the two of us.

I can’t seem to define what we are right now. Definitely not boyfriend/girlfriend…friends maybe? But it just seems so weird to be friends with someone who was making me moan and writhe beneath him not so long ago…

I think I’m starting to see a bump forming on my tummy now. I’ve always been slender, so it makes sense that I would notice something sooner than some women would. My mother and Prim insist that they don’t see anything yet, not that it stops them from rubbing my belly every second that they get the chance. Mom also likes to remind me that Peeta and I will make such a beautiful baby. I wonder to myself whether he or she will have his hair color or mine. Whether the baby will have gray eyes or blue, or if they will be sweet like him, or difficult like me. 

So many questions that won’t be answered for quite a while.

 

I decide to stop by the bakery on my way to see my family one day. Peeta is almost always there and I want to buy some cheese buns to share with Prim and my mother tonight.

I am about to walk into the bakery when the sight in front of me stops me dead in my tracks.

There are no customers currently occupying the establishment, just Peeta and Delly standing at the counter. Now that alone is nothing out of the ordinary. I’ve seen Delly working there quite a few times now. However, I have not seen Peeta put his arm around the woman and pull her in close to him, whispering something in her ear.

I feel the heat of pure anger bubble up inside of me as I take in the scene before me. I know that I have no right to feel angry, it’s not like Peeta and I are together, but damn it, we are having a baby together! I mean, we haven’t exactly mentioned that we weren’t going to date anyone else, but for some reason, seeing him so affectionate with another woman really grates my nerves.

I think about just forgoing my visit altogether, but decide that I have nothing to be ashamed of; it’s Peeta who should be ashamed of flirting with his employee in the middle of his own bakery.

I burst through the door, throwing Peeta and Delly off guard. I expect Peeta to practically throw himself away from his employee in shame, but he doesn’t. He just slowly eases himself away from her and comes over to me, smiling.

“Hey Katniss, I wasn’t expecting you.”

Yeah, I would have never guessed…

I put on a fake smile and nod at him and Delly. “I just came to buy some cheese buns for my family.”

Peeta heads back over to the counter and picks up a half dozen buns. “Is this enough?”

He is acting so innocent, like I just didn’t see him in an intimate moment with his employee. “Plenty.”

He must notice the curtness of my words, or my stiff stature because he pulls me over to the side, so that he can speak to me in private. “Is something wrong with you? Or the baby?” Peeta does have a certain look of concerned etched across his handsome face, but I’m not ready to confront him yet.

“I’m fine and the baby is fine. Nothing is wrong.”

It’s like he can sense that I am lying to him, because he frowns at me and returns to packaging up my cheese buns.

I go to pay him, but he waves me off. “Consider it a gift for your mother and sister, and tell them that I said hello.”

“Yeah, okay.”

And with that said, I grab my cheese buns and race out of the bakery. I can feel Peeta’s gaze burn into my back, but I don’t dare look behind me.

 

Prim can tell something is wrong with me. I’m acting as I always do, but she can tell. Mom is oblivious as always, so Prim waits until mother is busy washing dishes to confront me.

“Okay, spill.”

I shake my head at her in one last ditch effort to dissuade her from asking me what’s wrong.

Prim places her hands on her hips. “Tell me…now.”

I sigh loudly and tell Prim about what I saw at the bakery.

“You saw him whisper to her and put his arm around her?”

“Yeah, they seemed pretty cozy to me.”

“Let me ask you this…why do you care?”

I’m taken aback by her response, even though I had just asked myself that very question earlier. “I…I don’t know. I mean, the two of us are expecting a child together, and it takes him no time at all to just find some girl to get involved with, it just doesn’t seem right.”

Prim seems to consider my words for a few moments before responding. “Hmm…I see, you’re jealous.”

“What? No! I’m not jealous…” Am I? Am I jealous that Peeta can flirt with whomever he wants to and no guy will possibly want me now that I’m pregnant? Am I jealous that Peeta is flirting with some girl that isn’t me?”

My sister tries unsuccessfully to stifle a giggle. “You totally are! Just face it; you want Peeta as more than just your baby’s daddy.”

Long after I’ve gone to bed that night, I still lay there thinking of what Prim said to me. Am I developing feelings for Peeta? Am I developing those feelings that I thought I could have for him before this whole fiasco began? And if am, and he is seeing someone else, how will this affect our already odd relationship?

After Prim had accused me of wanting more from Peeta, she told me that he and I needed to have a serious discussion about our relationship. I agreed with her, but now I’m not sure what I would even say to him.

How am I supposed to tell him that seeing him with someone else upsets me? How do I talk to him about defining our relationship?

I run my hand over my belly lightly. “Hey little baby, do you have any advice for mommy on what she should do about daddy?”

It’s not like I expect an answer, but somehow, talking to my unborn child seems to put me at ease enough so that I can finally fall asleep.


	18. Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking for a beta! Find me on tumblr and message me if you are interested.

I finally decide that enough is enough.  I need to talk to Peeta about our relationship, and I need to know if there is something going on between him and Delly.

 

As I walk into the bakery, I brush my fingers over my abdomen, a new habit I’ve picked up since I first noticed the small swell developing there.  “Okay little one, let’s go see daddy and tell him it’s time to talk.”

 

I’m not entirely sure why I began to talk to my unborn child, but it comforts me.  The baby is like the ultimate confidant, he or she is not likely to tell anyone my secrets after all.

 

Peeta is cleaning the front counter when I arrive.  I know it’s almost closing time, so I hope he will be up for a nice, long chat.

 

“Hey Peeta.”

 

His head lifts up, causing a tendril of blond hair to fall into his face.  “Hey Katniss,” he says with a smile.

 

I shuffle nervously on my feet, why does this have to be so difficult?  “Umm…can we talk after you are done closing up?”

 

His blue eyes pierce mine as he looks up again from his work.  Emotions flicker beneath those light orbs; confusion, anxiety, and sadness seem to radiate forth.

 

“Yeah, if you want to go back and wait in my office, I will be done here in a few minutes.”

 

I nod at him and make my way back to his office.  As I sit down in the chair across from his desk, I can’t help but to think of the last time that I was here.  It was when I told him that I was pregnant in the first place, and he doubted that the baby was even his.  I cringe as I think of the terrible way I left things after we slept together, and how awful it was to have him accuse me of sleeping around, which of course was the truth before I met him.

 

I rub my belly again for comfort.

 

Peeta comes into the room about five minutes later and shuts the door behind him with a click.  “What did you want to talk about?”  The same emotions I saw earlier in his eyes have intensified as he sits across from me in his own chair.

 

I wring my hands together and sigh loudly.  I hate confrontations; everything about them makes me anxious and nauseous.  “I don’t really know where to start.  I…I’m just confused about a lot of things I guess.”

 

His forehead scrunches up.  “About what?”

 

“Us.”

 

He blinks at me, and sits up straighter.  “What about us?”

 

What about us?  _What about us?_ Does he not feel the awkward tension that still resides between us?  Does he not understand how said tension is making me crazy?  “What are we to each other?”

 

Peeta silently contemplates my question, chewing on his lower lip.  “We are…friends.”

 

“Friends?”  I raise an eyebrow at him questioningly.

 

He runs his hand through his hair.  “Yeah, friends.  I mean, what do you want me to say?  I don’t know how to describe a relationship between a man and a woman who are having a child together yet are not dating, but also do not hate each other, so I will go with friends.”

 

I’m not sure what kind of answer I was looking for, but ‘friends’ wasn’t it.  I decide to try a slightly different tactic.  I still need to ask him what is going on between him and Delly.  “So, I happened to notice that you and Delly seem pretty…cozy.”

 

Peeta gives me a look that clearly says that he has no idea what I am talking about.  “Huh?  Where did this come from?  I thought we were talking about _our_ relationship, not my relationship with Delly.”

 

I can’t help but to flinch at his harsh tone, but I stand my ground.  “Your relationship with Delly affects our relationship.”

 

He shakes his head slowly.  “Katniss, I don’t know what you think is going on…”

 

I interrupt him before he can say anything else.  “I saw you!”  I point an accusatory finger at his face.  “I saw you with her!  You…you had your arm around her and were whispering in her ear!”

 

His face turns an interesting shade of red, but not from embarrassment, but from anger.  He stands up abruptly, causing a few papers to flutter off of his desk and onto the floor.  He says nothing as he goes over to a filing cabinet and rifles through some of the folders.

Peeta whips back around and shoves a faded picture into my hands.

 

I bring it closer to my face and see a smiling blonde girl next to a little boy with crazy waves of golden hair.  They are playing with dough shaped as small people.  “What’s this?”

 

He rips the photo from my hands and hovers over me.  “ _That_ is me as a child with my best friend _Delly_.”

 

Oh… _oh_.  “Oops.”

 

“Fuck Katniss!  Oops is right!  I was consoling Delly because her boyfriend dumped her!  Hell, she’s like a sister to me!  But let me ask _you_ something, why the _fuck_ do you even care?  Are you jealous?”

 

Anger bubbles up inside of me at his accusation and I hop out of my seat in frustration.  I’m not jealous!  At least, I don’t think I am…  “No!  I just thought it was weird for you to be flirting with someone when you have a baby on the way.”

 

Peeta steps closer to me; our noses almost touching.  “So what, am I just supposed to stay single forever just because I have a child with you?”  His breath tickles my nose and causes me to shudder.

 

“Yes…no, I don’t know!”  I throw my hands up in the air and Peeta catches them and places them firmly back at my sides, and doesn’t let go.  Instead, he lightly trails his hands up my arms and onto my shoulders.  He leans his forehead against mine, causing me to look up into his ocean blue eyes.

 

“Katniss,” he whispers against my skin.  One of his hands lifts up to trace my cheek, the calluses on his fingertips causing me to shiver.

 

“Yes?”  I manage to finally say something, although it comes out as more of a squeak than actual language.

 

“Do you remember why I was reluctant to sleep with you in the first place?  I didn’t want to be intimate with you until I knew we were both ready for a relationship, and you had convinced me that you were.  But you weren’t, and the beautiful relationship that we could have had together blew up right before our eyes.  Now here you are basically telling me that it makes you uncomfortable seeing me with another woman.  I’m so confused right now.  I…I really felt something for you and you tore out my heart, and now we are having a baby together.  Just tell me what you want Katniss, I’m tired of guessing.”

 

Tears have formed in my eyes at his words.  I hate how much I have hurt him, and while I am still confused myself, I know I need to give him something solid.  “I’m so sorry Peeta.  I never meant to hurt you.  I’ve just been so jaded about love for so long that when I finally found someone who I thought I could really fall for; someone who would finally treat me right, I got scared.  I actually had a panic attack the morning after we slept together.  I felt and still feel awful about it.  You are so sweet and kind and wonderful and here I am a sobbing mess of a woman who doesn’t know a thing about love, let alone raising a child.”

 

I break off my words and sob loudly, burying my face in his chest.  I can hear his heartbeat thudding rapidly against my cheek, its staccato beat oddly comforting.

 

Peeta gently lifts my chin up and gazes into my eyes.  He brushes a few tears away and leans forward ever so slightly and kisses me.

 

It’s not a sexual kiss, and I doubt it is meant to be anything more than comforting, but I still feel it all the way to the tips of my toes.  It’s a promise, a promise that we can work through our differences and maybe, just maybe find each other once again.


	19. On Our Way

After my heart-to-heart with Peeta everything changed.  We see each much more often now and even go out together.  I’m not sure I would call our trips to the movies, dinner, or walks in the park ‘dates,’ but they are certainly a step in the right direction.

 

It is soon time for us to hear if we are having a boy or a girl.  I really have no preference either way, but we both decided a few weeks ago that we wanted to find out the sex of the baby so that we could properly prepare for his or her birth.

 

Peeta holds my hand as the obstetrician comes into the room.  I see her glance down to our joint hands and smile.  “Nice to see both of you again.  Ready to find out if you are having a boy or a girl?”

 

Peeta squeezes my hand tighter and I nod.

 

The doctor does the ultrasound as we wait anxiously for the result.  “Hmm…looks like a girl to me!”

 

I look at Peeta and he is absolutely beaming with joy.  He leans over to hug me and places a soft kiss on my cheek.  “We’re having a little girl,” he whispers in my ear.

 

On the way home from my appointment, Peeta and I begin to discuss names for our baby.  “I like traditional names, nothing crazy like our names,” Peeta glances over to me before looking back out onto the road.  “Something like Elizabeth or Samantha.”

 

I wrinkle my nose at his choices of possible names.  “Those names are so _boring_ though!  I like more unique names.”

 

Peeta shakes his head.  “I don’t want anything too crazy.  No need for our girl to get made fun of.”

 

I sigh and cross my arms over my growing belly.  “Fine.  Why don’t we both come up with a few names that we like and we can compare them and see if we can agree on one.”

 

“Okay, that sounds like a good idea to me.”

 

 

 

I call my mother and Prim on the phone when I get home to tell them the news.

 

“It’s a girl!”

 

I must be on speaker because I hear both my mom and Prim screeching with joy. 

 

“Oh, I can’t wait until I get to meet my new niece!  Katniss, we have to go shopping and get some cute little outfits for her!”

 

I can’t help but to laugh at my sister’s enthusiasm.  “We will, but nothing too frilly, if she is anything like me she will hate that.”

 

I can practically _hear_ Prim rolling her eyes at me.  “You’re no fun!  But really, I am so excited for you!  How’s Peeta doing?”

 

I don’t really want to get into the complexity of my relationship with Peeta, especially not with mom listening in as well.  “Umm…”

 

I hear Prim try to stifle a giggle.  “Mom left the room, it’s just me.”

 

I huff out a sigh.  “He’s good.  We are getting along much better now.  He was with me at the appointment and now we just have to find a name we can agree on.”

 

“Are you two having sex again?”

 

I hate hearing words like ‘sex’ come out of my little sister’s mouth.  Even though I know that she is twenty-one, I just don’t like to think of her engaging in such activities…ever.  “What?  No!  We are just good friends now.  Occasionally he will kiss me, but I think it’s more of a friendly gesture or a comfort thing.”

 

Prim full-out laughs at this.  “You don’t kiss someone on the lips as a friendly gesture!  At least, not in the USA.  He wants you!”

 

“Prim, don’t be ridiculous.  We’re just having a baby together.”

 

“Listen to me Katniss.  I know that you are still afraid to fall in love, but Peeta is amazing.  He’s nice, caring, smart, and super hot.  Plus, he will make a great father, just give him another chance.  Give _love_ another chance.”

 

When did Prim become such an expert on love?  I thought I taught her to stay away from it.  “I don’t know.  What if he leaves one day?”

 

“He won’t leave.  I can tell that he is a man that is not afraid of commitment.  Give Peeta a chance.  You aren’t likely to find a sexier, nicer guy out there.”

 

 

Taking Prim’s advice to heart, I go straight to Peeta’s house.

 

I’m nervous, incredibly so, but I need to see if I can fix my relationship with Peeta for good.  I want him in my life, not just as the father of my child, but as the man I could and hopefully will, fall in love with.

 

He’s outside mowing the lawn when I arrive; sweat droplets dripping down his muscular back.  My breath hitches in my throat at the sight of him.  He looks so incredibly sexy.

 

I wave at him and he cuts the engine to the mower when he sees me.  Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Peeta makes his way over to me and smiles.  “Hey Katniss, what’s up?”

 

“I want to try again.”

 

His face scrunches up in confusion.  “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

 

I stare into his bright blue eyes and take his hands into my own.  “I want to try to have a relationship with you again.”

 

He’s eyes light up and he pulls me towards him, wrapping me in his arms.  He is still sweaty, but has such a distinct, masculine smell that I love.  “Are you sure?”  He whispers these words into my ear.

 

I nod.  “Yes.”

 

He leans down and kisses me gently and I feel a surge of fire within me.  I wrap my arms tighter around him and then trail one hand up to his hair, tugging gently at the curls.

 

Peeta moans into my mouth and deepens the kiss, thrusting his tongue past my lips to duel with my own.

 

When we finally break apart, he is grinning.  “All I ever wanted was a chance, Katniss.”

 

I smile back.  “And I’m more than willing to give that to you.”


	20. Family Meeting

I wake up to a strange feeling in my lower belly.  Peeta and I must have fallen asleep on the couch while we were watching TV because he is slumped over at an awkward angle and I dozed off to the other side with my hand on my growing belly.

 

I feel it again and suddenly, I know what it is.  The baby is kicking.

 

It’s been a few weeks since Peeta and I decided to start our relationship over and try again and he has been amazing.  He takes such good care of me and I can tell that he is excited about the baby as well.

 

The baby kicks again and I lean over to nudge Peeta awake.  “Peeta!”

 

He wakes up with a start, nearly falling off of the couch in the process.  “What?  What happened?”

 

I stifle my giggle and gently take his large hand and place it on my round belly.

 

Peeta’s uses his other hand to rub the sleep from his eyes.  “What are you doing?”

 

I smile at him and place my hand over his so he doesn’t move it from my stomach.  “Just wait…”

 

I feel the baby kick and Peeta’s hand flies up; his eyes wide in surprise.  “What was that?”

 

I giggle at him; he’s just too cute sometimes.  “The baby kicked!”

 

His eyes widen further and his lips curve up into a smile.  “Really?  She kicked?”  He places his hand on my swollen abdomen again and waits.

 

This time when she kicks, Peeta grins and rubs my belly gently.  “That’s awesome!”  He leans over and kisses me softly.

 

I grin at his enthusiasm.  If anyone would have told me several months ago that I would be pregnant and quickly falling in love with the baby’s father, I would have told them that they are crazy.  But now that I am here with my baby kicking and my boyfriend grinning like he just won a million dollars, it seems worth it.

 

 

 

Peeta and I are driving to his parents’ house.  I am beyond nervous as I have never met any of his family before.  They live a good three hours away and Peeta’s relationship with his mother is cordial at its best.

 

Peeta turns his car off of the highway and grips my hand tightly in his own.  “I apologize in advance.  My dad should be cool about this but my mother may not be that friendly towards you, and my one brother will be there as well and I can only guess what he will act like.”

 

I feel my palms begin to sweat, but if Peeta notices he doesn’t say anything.  “What exactly did you tell them?”

 

He sighs as he takes a right turn into a housing plan.  “Just that I will be bringing my girlfriend over to meet them.”

 

“So they don’t know that I’m pregnant?”

 

“They will soon,” he mumbles as he pulls into a driveway in front of a white two-story house.

 

I am beyond nervous when Peeta opens the car door for me and helps me out.  We walk hand in hand to the front door and I swear that when he rings the bell, my entire being is shaking like a leaf.

 

The door swings open and a guy who looks a lot like Peeta—if you added a few years and a beard—answers the door.

 

“Little bro!  How’ve you been man?  Introduce me to your…”  His eyes flicker over to me, and quickly down to my burgeoning belly.  “Whoa…”

 

Peeta steps in quickly.  “Nick this is Katniss.  Katniss, this is my brother Nick.”

 

I politely shake his hand, but his eyes never leave my belly.

 

“Nice to meet you.”

 

Nick’s eyes finally tear away from my middle and meet my own.  “You too.”

 

Before Peeta can explain the situation to his brother, a voice calls out from somewhere in the house.  “Nick, if that is Peeta and his friend let them in!”

 

Nick smirks at Peeta.  “Have fun with mom.”  He lets us into the house and into the empty living room. 

 

I hear pots and pans bustling from the kitchen which must be nearby.

 

“I’m just finishing up dinner.  Your father will be home soon and we can all sit down to a nice meal together.”

 

“Okay thanks,” Peeta yells out and he squeezes my hand and leads me to sit on the white leather sofa next to him.

 

I hear footsteps drawing closer.  “Well, introduce me to your new…”  That’s as far as the woman in the room got before the pot she was drying slips from her hands bangs loudly on the polished hardwood floor.  “Oh my God…”

 

 

Dinner at the Mellark house is probably the most excruciating event I have gone through in a long time.  After Peeta’s mother got over her initial shock and we were properly introduced, she asked me and Peeta a bunch of rather prying questions about our relationship and the baby.  I half expected her to start screaming, but she hasn’t as of yet.

 

When Peeta’s father got home, he seemed surprised that his son’s new girlfriend was pregnant, but he was very nice to me and seemed happy to have a new grandchild on the way.

 

The tension in the air is palpable as Mrs. Mellark clears the dinner table.  She darts me a pointed look as she picks up the last plate.  “Katniss, let’s go have a chat outside.  The weather is beautiful and we need some girl time, don’t you think?”

 

No, I really don’t, but the look on her face tells me that I better agree with her.  “Of course Mrs. Mellark.  I give her a tense smile and follow her out the back door and onto the patio.

 

As soon as the door closes she points her finger in my face.  “Now listen here you little hussy, I don’t know how you tricked my son into knocking you up but he is way too good for you.  He probably wanted to leave you so you decided to get pregnant just to keep him around, and he is such a gentleman that he will stay with you just because you are carrying his child.”

 

I flinch at her harsh words but I was never one to back down, I always stick up for myself.  “I did nothing of the sort.  I’ll admit that the pregnancy was unplanned, but I care for your son very much, and I _don’t_ want him for money or status or any of that 19th century bullshit.  I’m very much capable of taking care of myself and Peeta knows that.  He _chose_ to stay with me and to support me and our unborn daughter.”

 

Her nostrils flare.  “You’re nothing but trash!  You’ll marry Peeta and then divorce him just to get his money and part of his bakery!  I know how you girls are!”

 

I get right up in her face, not willing to stand down.  “You know next to nothing about me.  You can’t judge me or my motives just by meeting me.  Peeta means a lot to me and I am _not_ some gold-digging tramp.  So I suggest you get your facts straight and show Peeta, me, and our baby the respect that we deserve!”

 

 

The ride home is filled with Peeta’s apologies.  After I told off his mother I ran back inside and asked Peeta if we could leave.  I explained everything to him and he apologized profusely and promised to take me out on a nice romantic date the next day to make it up to me.

 

“Don’t worry about her, nothing I have ever done and no one I have ever dated was good enough for her.  On the bright side, Nick and Dad seemed to like you a lot.  Oh, and my dad suggested a name for the baby.”

 

I perk up, intrigued.  “What is it?”

 

“It was his mother’s name, my grandmother.  Elisa.”

 

“Elisa,” I repeat trying out the name on my tongue.  “I like it.”


End file.
